Our Little Deadly Secret

My Regretful Mistake

I told Noah everything. From the day after he crashed the family party to the day I left him to just the night before and early this morning. Nothing had been left out. every small detail was told.

I mentioned that I had found some love letters he had written me back when he and I first started dating. Before he graduated. That he use to leave in my locker. And there were nights that I would stay up while Kass was asleep and read them to myself for comfort. Which made me start to cry. And thinking it would help ease the pain, I would turn on the playlist of every song that he and I ever loved. But it would do just the opposite.

I recalled to him, too, the days that I started being able to finally move on from him. Where I was able to wake up in the morning and put on a smile that didn't seem fake to hold anymore. And I would be able to greet the day with a song in my heart. And sometimes on those days, flashes of him and I would try to hold me down. But I had learned the art of pushing the pain aside for a different day. And trudging forward. Or so I thought until today.

I had asked him about his whereabouts the day the house was broken into just for my sanity. To know he wasn't the one to do such a thing to me. That even tho I had been hurt by him and I had destroyed his heart in return by leaving, that he would still care enough about me to not do such a thing.

I questioned him about what he had done during the times when I screamed for him on my bedroom floor and refused to do humanly activities. I demanded answers for why he didn't keep trying to fight for me after all we had gone through. I begged for him to tell me why just as of today he decided to see me again.

And when he told me what I wanted to know, I broke more than I had ever thought I could have.

The night in question was the day he was able to finally move on from me. As he has finally decided to talk to a new girl and they had a lot in common, but not as much as we did. He spent most of his time before hand regretting everything he had done. There were days that he has wished he had never asked me out. So he wouldn't have been the one to break my heart. He tried to stay in his own lane. Hang with friends. Get drunk. Black out while crying for me to come back.

But his reasoning for why he never kept fighting? Because he thought I would never stop telling him no. He feared rejection from the one person he loved with all his heart. Me. So he forced himself to accept the loss and move on. That he and I would never be together. And honestly? We probably weren't meant to be together in the first place.

And just hearing that broke me the most. Because there was a time when I though no one could separate us. That he was it. That I didn't have to search any further.

But I guess I was wrong.

And realising that hurt like hell.

With both confessions out, there was nothing else to say. No kiss could make all this feel better. No words could mend the tears held inside our souls. All we could do was sit next to each other. In silence. Counting the minutes. But I found myself slowly sinking into the sofa we sat upon. Silently crying myself into a deep sleep. With Noah sitting besides me.

I knew when I woke up a couple hours later that he would be gone. I knew he would up and leave. And I would be alone. And I prepared myself for that. But what I didn't prepare myself for was the spare key that he had left behind. His copy of the key to the abandoned house. I would have been fine with him keeping it as a momento of our love. But he left it there for me to take back.

And I knew then that we were truly and officially over.

Especially after finding the little note he had left next to me explaining why he left without saying goodbye. And why he gave the key back: it was to save my heart from him hurting it again. That he was letting me go to protect me from any more damage. That he would rather be without my love in hopes I would heal and move on than him staying around and making everything worse.

And, in that moment, for the first time in months, after all that I had done, I felt myself shatter into a million pieces. All over again. For a boy named Noah.

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Maac's POV:

I've been trying all day to talk to Selena after the whole blow-up in the closet. Correction: MY closet in MY bedroom. Nevertheless, the way I had reacted during the whole situation was a little too harsh on my end. And I knew I needed to apologise.

But it's a little too hard to apologise if one keeps themselves locked inside the basement of a house that has no master key and the only way to unlock it is to break into the basement from the outside, since it can only be locked and unlocked from the inside.

I honestly did not want to break into my own home but Selena hasn't eaten anything all day, hasn't responded to any of my text messages I had sent her in an attempt to amend things, and all my options were starting to look less and less inviting.

I had found myself pacing the floor of my bedroom, sitting in silence on the couch, and wishing there was a way for her to talk to me.

By now, though, it was getting late. I was worried. And I had taken the day off to spend with her to make sure she was okay after all that had happened yesterday. But this was too much, what she was doing. So I went from my spot on the couch, up the stairs to my little office I had for myself, went into a drawer, grabbed a plastic card that was useless to me, and walked back downstairs and into the kitchen.

Knocking on the absent door, I gently placed my hand on the door knob as I spoke gently through the door for the last time before I attempted to break the door down, sliding the card ever go gently into the open space.

"Hey... I just wanted to let you know that I..." I started to spill as I tried to turn the knob of the door.

To my surprise, the door for a change was unlocked. At that time, I had heard a car engine start, but it sounded too far away to be anything of importance...

Or at least I thought that until I quietly snuck downstairs and found Selena gone.

She snuck out on me while I wasn't paying attention. And that was her car that turned on.

I ran as fast as I could up the stairs, through the kitchen door that led to the garage and put the side door of the garage to the drive way. Only my car sat there.

She was gone.