The Voice I Was Given.

Reality's Death

        After the next few months, River forced himself to shut down the human part of him. The grief was too much for him to bear, knowing the mistakes that he had made. He traveled alone again, vowing to never let himself get that close to another creature. It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, letting the instinct take over his mind and completely letting the ocean make him the animal he was supposed to be. River became like that other sirens, hunting whatever they wanted, whoever they wanted, killing whatever came across their path and getting into fights with other sirens. But whenever River hunted, he allowed himself to imagine the siren that had ruined everything for him in place of his prey. Then, it was back to letting his mind fog up, forgetting who he was.

He was numb. With each week that passed, more and more of River disappeared. He remembered less and less, becoming more fixated on his own problems than trying to figure out what was wrong. Eventually, the pain just disappeared. It was gone. Of course, it was still there, but River had to kill his emotions. They had to go in order for him to survive. It was hard, yes, but River knew it was the only thing he could do. He had to forget in order to make the most of his third chance. A chance that he never asked for and never wanted, but still got. A chance that Hypatia deserved. One that got wasted on a life that had already been lived over and over.

He couldn't escape from his own mind anymore. River was a slave to instinct and the course of nature. Whatever happened was supposed to happen. Every day that passed didn't feel real. He wasn't living anymore. He wasn't even really surviving. River was just trying to exist in a world that didn't matter to him anymore. The grief returned, but his animal mind couldn't comprehend what this sadness was. Deep down, something was hurting that wasn't healing. It made his animal mind scared. If something was hurt, then that would make him weaker and a target to more able creatures. But it wasn't physical pain. It was something much more painful and much harder to get rid of. The animal mind began to erase more and more from his mind in order to save him.

Then it happened.

He forgot his own name.

River was gone.

He didn't exist anymore.

The animal took over and banished the human.

The siren was back.

The siren didn't have a name.

The siren didn't have a voice.

The siren was teeth, claws, hunger, and anger.

There was only predator and prey in the world.

He was the predator, humans were prey.

Life returned to the cycle of kill, eat, kill, eat.

And the siren didn't mind.

Because he had finally killed his worst enemy.

Himself.