Watch my World Burn in Your Eyes

Prologue?

       Everything is so simplewhen you're a kid. You don't have a single care in the world. Youlaugh, you play, you live as if there is nothing bad or difficult inthe world. All you mainly know is physical pain. The idea of real andraw emotional pain not even a blip in the radar. You don't worryabout jealousy, love, hatred, or sadness. You certainly don't worryabout things like catching feelings for your best friend and hatinghis stupid fucking boyfriend for just existing. You don't blameyourself or your cowardly ways for driving the love of your life intothe arms of another boy. You laugh, you play. Simple.

        When you get into yourteen years things start to change as they did for me. New thoughtsand feelings start to surface. A lot of them you can't seem tocontrol no matter how hard you try, no matter how wrong they are, nomatter how much if anyone knew they would be shocked anddisappointed. Once you're trapped inside your own mind things becomedangerous, bottling these feelings up becomes dangerous. You eatyourself up like a fire spreading rampantly through a dry forest. Theemotional pain becomes so bad you don't know if you'll ever be ableto pull yourself back to happiness.

       But somehow and some wayyou learn that happiness always has a way of finding you. Just whenthings are at their darkest, a light can shine through and makeeverything okay again. You can be taken back to that carefreechildhood you miss more than anything. This story I am writing as thelove of my life sleeps next to me documents our time together fromthe moment we met. It documents all the pain I caused myself andthose around me. The feelings I felt and the things I did to securewhat is now mine will surely make the audience take me for a bad guy,but when you're in love you do the dumbest things you can imagine.

        Some of these things hemay even hate me for if he ever reads this. I manipulated a lot ofthe people around me to get my way, it's who I was then. I hatemyself for ever being that person and I do not expect a single one ofyou or him to feel any differently. I, Richie Tozier did a lot ofshitty things I've kept secret for a long time. Now it's time to layit all out because the guilt... It's eating me up and my ray of lightis helpless to fight against the monsters that lurk in the dark.

Author's note: Boy this is probably gonna be a train wreck ahahaha 

-Andly