𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛

two

The man behind the counter had given Tara an odd look upon her entrance to his dingy inn.

The walls were heavily discoloured on almost every surface. The corners looked as though they hadn't been free of cobwebs since the establishment had been built. There was a constant, dull smell of mould and shit.

But despite all this, Tara continued on and booked herself a room for the night. She decided not to pay for the full week all in one go, just in case of emergency.

The decision to wait the week out in Belfast was a hard one, but in the end, come Monday morning, if she was on that boat to Boston, she would be safe and this would all be over.

Now she just had to make it through the week in one piece.

The stairs complained at her feeble weight as she walked up to the second floor which, unsurprisingly, was as unsavoury as the first. The key jammed in the lock and took a surmountable bit of jimmying to get open.

Tara had picked the inn closest to the port she could find. The runaway wanted to open the window and let in the fresh sea smell. The horrible odour in her room was suffocating.

She wrestled with the window handle, but short of shattering the glass, it was shut tight. Her desire for breathable air went unanswered and Tara drew the curtains, deciding to just sit in the stink of darkness.

Hunger had not crossed her mind. Even though she hadn't eaten since the day before, Tara still couldn't bring herself to have a bite. She knew she had to have something, but the mere thought of food made her feel sick. Her skin was going pale and her eyes were stuck in a sleepless, half-open haze, not enough energy in her to pull them any wider apart.

Tara knew she had to sleep sometime, whether it be of her own volition or by the force of nature, it would come. But while her body ached and her vision wavered, her thoughts fired back and forth against the confines of her skull, yelling and screeching to claw their way to the centre of her focus. She couldn't sleep even if she tried. 

So awake and withering she stayed.

❖

The next day came slowly. Tara had climbed up to the flat roof of her derelict motel to watch the burning sun descending over the horizon.

For a while, Tara remained on that rooftop, catching glimpses of twinkling stars through the light smog over the city. But the night was dark and cold, forcing her to eventually retreat back to her smelly, dingy room.

At some point in the night, Tara had let her heavy lids shut. Her body was simply too tired to fight it any longer. She was aware of the slow and quiet crawl of fatigue. Her thoughts turned incomprehensible and lulled away into the back of her head. Instead, she simply watched as black dots enveloped her vision and the world slipped away.

The bag was packed, some change of clothes and a few bob to get her by. It wasn't much, but she would make it work until she was settled wherever she went.

Tara steadied her breathing, noticing that it had been getting heavier with anxiety.

Today was the day. She was finally doing it and she couldn't stand to wait another second.

The nervous woman carried her bag down the stairs, laying it awaiting by the front door as an extra precaution. There was always the chance this could go horribly and she needed the safety net.

The only person who knew of what would happen today was Ali, the one girl who had made her life any little bit tolerable. Her parents didn't know about her and it was best things stayed that way. Ali was nothing but scum to them, born with a penny to her name and little else, she wasn't worthy of their twisted affection.