Pretty But Psycho

Chapter One

EXCUSE THE MISTAKES

The sweet melody of the morning bird's tunes caused me to involuntarily open my eyes. As the light shone in from my window I turned over and there she was. Peyton. My best friend in the whole world. The photo of us smiling widely on our first day of fifth grade sat on my nightstand. The beaming smiles on our faces show how happy we were and how happy I would never be again. I picked up the framed picture and held it close to my chest.

"I love you so much, sis. I miss you." I whispered and sat the photo back on my nightstand.

After fighting with insomnia for the past week I slept long enough to gather energy to get through the day. I managed to pull myself up and I let my legs dangle off the edge of the bed. A black floor-length gown with thin straps laid across my ottoman, staring back at me. Its simplicity is definitely something Peyton would call boring. I grabbed the gown and headed to the bathroom to prepare myself for the worst day of my life.

Staring in the mirror, I examined my puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The bags that formed from the stress took over my face and I could barely recognize myself. I took a quick shower and dressed in the gown. Not bothering to beautify my hair I threw my curls into a messy bun. Along with my puffy eyes and messy hair I looked exactly how I felt. Like shit.

"This is what they gone get Pey. I don't have the energy to slay today." I said aloud and turned off the light and exited the bathroom.

I walked back into my room to get my iPhone. While scrolling through my notifications I surpassed many missed calls and notifications from Facebook. I figured it was people paying their condolences so I ignored it. It's been the same thing every day since the announcement of her death. I couldn't bear to read another cliche comment like "sorry for your loss" and "She's in a better place now.'' No one knew that it literally felt like someone ripped my heart from my chest. She was my best friend, my sister, and my soulmate. It's getting harder and harder to cope with the pain and I think today may be my breaking point.

I walked into the dining room and was met with a familiar aroma of banana nut muffins. My mom stood at the counter cradling a cup of coffee in her hands while staring aimlessly in the backyard. I figured she felt just as bad as I did being that Peyton was like another daughter to her.

"Good morning Ma," I said barely above a whisper.

She turned and faced me with a weak smile. "Good morning Honey. You look marvelous," she stated. The false chipper act she put on didn't match the look of despair on her face. She sat her coffee cup on the counter and wiped her tears.

"I made you some Banana nut muffins. I remember how you and PeyPey used to tear em up every morning before school" she chuckled and grabbed a saucer from the cabinet and handed it to me.

"Thank you." I sniffed and took a bite from the muffin. I closed my eyes and enjoyed its sweetness. So far other than waking up this morning, this was the best thing to happen. I took another bite of the muffin, savoring the feeling of its warmth in my mouth.

"Your father sends his love. He's so sorry that he couldn't be here for support. Lord knows he loved Peyton as much as I did. But he would like to facetime you after the service if you're up to it" my mom mentioned.

I gave her a quick nod and finished the muffin. Grabbing my cellphone and the biggest sunglasses I could find my mom and I made our way out to her car. I got into my mom's Honda and instantly I felt a fresh wave of tears coming on.

If I go here today it means I really have to say goodbye. I'm not ready Pey. Things weren't supposed to happen like this. I need my best friend. I can't go on without you. I silently sobbed. Why didn't you come to me? We talked about everything with each other. I could have helped you. You were my sister.