I jumped up gasping and panicking because I didn't realize I was sleep . I looked over to Cs spot and he wasn't there. I ran my hand over the his spot and it was cold . I laid on my back looking up at the ceiling . I didn't even realize I was crying . I am sick of this .
Another pregnancy without him. Everytime something go wrong he fucking vanish . I wish I can just jump up and leave my fucking family for months. I shook my head getting back under the covers . In another hour I'll get up to clean .
2pm I look over on the nightstand so I can check the time. Two wtf tKay , I got up changing the sheets putting the clean ones on the mattress and the old ones in the washer. I picked up clothes off the floor placing them in the basket . Stripping down getting in the shower .
Nope I am not gonna cry over spilled milk he's gone and I still have to keep up with my responsibilities as a mother. Finally out I finished my routine. I went in Julez room getting him a little bag packed with some of his things in there so I can get ready for my appointment .
Just to check on the baby and I am kinda excited about finding out the gender. After I made sure the house was clean . I grab my keys locking up the house.
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Once I got in my car I plugged the aux in playing TOO DEEP x KEHLANI ^^^^. I wasn't gonna let him comeback this time . I can raise my kids on my own. I was fed up with the games.
Yeah I know his brother is in the hospital fighting for his life but it seems like he don't care . I don't know . I am going threw every emotion right now . I love this man god knows I do . I didn't bother calling his mom or him or even his boys. It's no point I already know what was up last night I bit my lip just thinking about it . He fucked me like he wanted to add another baby in here with this one.
Whew Chile ... this pregnancy had my fucking hormones thru the roof. All I wanted to do was fuck - I was interrupted by my phone ring . Incoming call Queen Me : hey ma Her : how's it going with black . Me : I am not sure i said sniffling . Her : is everything okay ? Me : yeah I just - Her : talk to me Me : I think c left again. Her ; no baby don't say that Bring up this whole conversation again had me in tears , Her : not again . Her : your gonna be okay sweet heart . Don't stress that baby out girl . She said with a attitude. Me : I am okay mom . Sniffing can I call you back later . Me : i love you . Her ; I love you too. Appointment
Hey sweetieshe said glancing up at me. I smiled . Everything alright she said looking concern . Yeah I mean I am just going thru alot trying to keep myself together . I kinda feel like imma hurt someone but I know that it wouldn't be wise so I been controlling my mood swin- just then i was cut off by a knock at the door.
She open the door and I seen Clarence walk in . I couldn't even hide the smile that form on my face . Hi baby he said kissing my forehead lightly . Hi I said red as a tomato. You okay he standing in front of me . Yeah I am fine. Sure he said lifting my chin up. Yeah Clarence I am fine I said smirking.
Iight he sat down letting the doctor come over to get me set up for my ultrasound . I jerk a little cause it was so cold . Baby , baby where are you she said searching . It's right here she said smiling the sound of the heartbeat came thru the room. I started crying and c came over and kissed my forehead.
It's a girl guys she said smirking. I knew it I said screaming. C look at me smiling . I got my babygirl he said kiss my lips. Know it's two of you . All man he said acting all dramatic . I'll get you two outta here just give me a sec to get these pictures printing.
Once she lefted out the room I pulled down my shirt looking over to see him smiling . Babygirl wow he said standing inbetween my legs kissing my forehead. Yeah I said lowly . You gonna tell me wassup. Nothing I just thought you - Here are the pictures she said smiling I'll see you guys next month.
Bye thank you so much . Dad let's try and get mom to stress less she said smiling. I didn't even have to look up to know Clarence was staring at me with a mug. You drove he asked sternly. yes I said avoiding eye contact . Give me the keys I Uber up here. I passed him the keys getting in the passenger seat . So wasssup he said closing the door.
Nothing Babe. I said taking his hand into mines to calm his mind from racing. Nah kay tell me what the fuck is up. I thought you left Julez damn I said aggravated. I Why would you think that ? I don't know I just felt like you was gone once I woke up and you wasn't there . Why didn't you call kay ? You knew I went to see my brother . I just assumed and I am sorry I said in full blown tears now. Iight that's what the doctor was talking about back there ?
No I was crying before my appointment and she seen it in my face I guess but she ask was I okay and I told her I feel like imma hurt somebody and she said it can be my hormones and I mean I agreed I said babbling on. He just nodded his head .
I am not leaving again I mean I am not leaving ever iight . I have a family now. I have responsibilities I got to take care of. I didn't realize it back then but I do know. I put my head down . Nah look at me I glance up and look at him in his eyes with tears in mines. I love you Kay and I am sorry I made that decision but it will never happen again.
Iight he said kissing my lips. Iight daddy I said smirking . Damn you bipolar he said smirking . But wait till we get home he said licking his lips. I wanna taste it right now thou I said while rubbing over his sweats. It's yours baby do what you want . I took him out his sweats kissing the head rubbing my tongue over the sides ...
Mhmm .... I moan taking him in my mouth , popping the head back out I love you daddy.
