the right to remain silent {cake}

I { paris }

{ hope is the thing with feathers }

***

ashton banged on the door. "lukey? please come out!"

walking by, calum stopped and snickered at the drummer holding his crotch. "need a wank, buddy?"

"no," ashton moaned, thumping his head against the locked bathroom door. "i really have to pee but luke is hogging the bathroom!"

rolling his eyes, calum stepped forward and rapped gently on the door. after a moment of silence, luke's soft "i'll be out in a minute" echoed through the quiet hotel room.

"fuck it, i'll just go to you and michael's room," ashton huffed, adjusting himself and speed-walking to the hotel door. "and fuck you, hemmings!"

the door slammed and ashton was gone.

standing on his tiptoes, calum reached for the key above the door and shoved it into the doorknob. he didn't care if luke was using the bathroom, they'd all seen each other naked at least once, and he had a suspicion that pissing wasn't what the other boy was doing.

he opened the door and almost collapsed.

there was luke, sitting on the top of the closed toilet seat, blade in right hand, left arm with slashes that looked like red ribbon had been sewn into his skin. he continued hacking away at his arm, tears streaming down his face. a hurt noise left calum's closed lips and luke looked up then, blue eyes wide with terror. seeing who it was, his face crumpled, and he began to sob.

panic seized calum. he had known that something was wrong this whole time, but now that it was right in his face, his words failed him.

inching forward, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around luke's head, running his fingers through the soft blonde hair. luke jerked forward and grabbed onto him. warm wetness seeped in on calum's thighs from where luke's hands were wrapped around them and his shirt was steadily getting wetter with tears, but he kept rocking and soothing luke as best as he could.

luke's sobs died down and his breathing became shuddery after a few moments, his wrists still seeping blood onto calum's pants. prying the blonde boy's fingers from him, calum removed himself and exited the bathroom, wincing at the too-loud click the door made as it shut.

calum had seen luke all different kinds of ways over the years- silly, drunk, sleepy, high, serious, excited, stressed, sad, and even covered in cum once (don't ask) - but seeing luke bleeding all over the place was something he'd never seen and never wanted to see again.

***

later that night, luke crept into calum's bed.

"i'm sorry," he whispered into calum's collarbone, lips brushing against the feather.

calum pretended to be asleep, and luke went back to his own room.