All American Boys

43. These Tears I Shed for You

All American Boys

Chapter 43: These Tears I Shed for You

Isaac and I said nothing to each other as we walked through the hallway, until we reached the exit into the gardens. The sun had begun to set in the horizon, bathing the entire town in a warm golden light. The grounds of the estate were framed with tall cypresses, shielding the Crawfords from any prying eyes. The evergreen foliage seemed to saccharine, too full of life for a mansion that reeked of death's odour.

There were birds chirping in the distance as we walked, down the winding path until the both of us were away from everyone else. There was a gazebo crawling with ivy and shaded by the overhanging branches of a grand wisteria tree. It was hidden from everyone else. No one could see us there.

It amazed me how Isaac seemed to know the Crawford's mansion like the back of his palm. But I didn't dare say anything. I was too busy trying to figure out what to say to him.

Isaac stepped onto the gazebo first, and gestured for me to come sit with him. He wasn't really looking at me as I approached him. He just sat there, looking to the side. He seemed ashamed to face me.

I wondered why. If there was to be someone who had to feel ashamed it was probably me. As I sat there beside him, the guilt was tugging at my heartstrings.

I didn't know if I should tell him. I felt horrible about what I did, I absolutely did. But at the same time, telling him would only break him. It was a mistake, but it's not like he needed to know it happened. I sat there, at conflict with myself whether to confess and tell him everything or to hide the truth.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," a voice finally breaking the silence between us.

It was Isaac's.

I only nodded as my vision started getting glossy.

"It's alright," I muttered as the tears began to fall down my cheeks. "It's alright, Isaac."

Without as much as a warning, I suddenly found myself in Isaac's tight embrace. He held me with his arms, resting my chin on his shoulders.

"I'm so sorry," he said, clutching me in his grip. "I'm so, so sorry."

I wanted him to stop it. I wanted him to stop apologising. It only made my tears fall.

He must've thought I was hurt by him just leaving. But that was nothing. It was nothing, now that I thought about it. It was nothing compared to what I've done.

I was used to him doing that. I should've expected it. Isaac was the kind of boy who would run from his problems. But at the same time he was sweet, kind and caring. He had already gone through so much. It was something that I could've just brushed aside, something that I could've just forgotten about.

But of course, that wasn't what I did. I let my anger and my rage take hold of me.

I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take it all back. But all I could do was shut my eyes and seal my lips. The regret came crashing upon me as I thought about how hurt Isaac was. Whether he knew or not what I did, it still would devastate him.

"I'm sorry too," I muttered as I held onto him.

My tears began to drip onto his shirt.

"I've done. . . so many things that I can't take back," I said. "I've caused you so much hurt and pain, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Isaac's grip tightened around me, and I could feel him shiver. I heard him sniffing lightly. He was crying too. We just sat there in the gazebo, holding each other under the shade of the creeping ivy leaves.