The Sins of a Church Boy: Soul Ties

Chapter 2: Nightmare Ride Pt. 1

"Lyric, everything is going to be ok: the therapist says to me. I swear this threat to a mirror think she knows me, always trying to make cry.

"Excuse me Ms. Peace, everything's already alright... I don't hold grudges, and I forgave him a long time ago." I respond sounding as annoyed as possible.

"Well how have you been sleeping ? Have the nightmares stopped or are they still occurring ?" she asks continuing on this dead end questioning method. There is absolutely no chance in this universe of me opening up to her unless I want too. I don't know why she keeps trying to be "Doctor save a Pimp".

"Ms. Peace, baby listen... Sleep is sleep. Sometimes you close your eyes and appear in fields of cotton candy, at other times you end up in a pit full of snakes, and If you're lucky... sometimes you get blessed by God and end up getting laid. So I will say 'yes' my sleep is fine and I'm getting all of my hours" completely shitting on all of those exercises she had prepared as homework.

"Well... talk to me about him, I know you must have something to say about him" she said nervously. I could see the nerves going through her body. The restlessness of her hands and those rabbit like eyes.

"Ain't shit to say about that nigga Ms. Peace !" I say to her bluntly. I honestly hate therapy. " I can't believe I asked my mama to put me in this mess. All of these lame ass acting people, walking around knock-kneed and water-headed. Absolutely no time for it" I think to myself as I watch the therapists mouth move. I paid close attention to her as she had a full out conversation all by herself. Her oval face, and paper thin lips completely parallel to her Latin descent. No matter her perfect skin tone, her face and body overshadowed its radiance. Beautiful milky skin with almond accents. Pretty long hair that was straight and unbothered... I imagined how bad the features must hate each other. It's as if God was painting a masterpiece and sneezed.

"Lyric, do you hear me ?" she asks breaking my observation.

"Yes Ms. Peace. I heard you crystal clear" I said lying. This woman knows good and well that I was not listening to her at all; all I heard was that noise from Charlie Brown.

"Well then, I'll see you at our next appointment love" she says with a genuine smile, almost making me feel bad for being such a Gemini.

As I walked out the door, I caught my reflection in the mirror. Ebony brown skin with a hint of burnt caramel. Knotty Afro- Caribbean hair with my Native American eyes... deep chocolate diamonds." Its people like Ms. Peace that make you thank God for taking his time and painting you right ! My solid upper body leading down to my fatal flaws... my curves and booty. I swear I hate them sometimes... You see all of that handsome and then it's like 'damn too much booty in the pants' I think to myself as I look at my body.

I remember a time when I would have never had thoughts like this. He did this to me.

(Flashback)

"Lyric... what are you doing ?" he asked me as I prepared my solo. As loud as I was singing I knew he heard me, but in case he was a little deaf I replied " Its youth Sunday KJ, i'm about to sing" Something was uneasy about him; his high yellow redbone skin was flush, and the palms of his hands sweaty. Just from the hardness of the air I knew something was off.

"You should sing for me in the office..." he said to me. If only I wasn't so trusting...

(End of Flashback)

"Sir are you ok?" A young man asks me. He had to be a little bit older than me around nineteen or twenty.

"Yes, I'm fine sir, thank you" I reply with a smile watching his eyes look me up and down. "O.K. .Lyric, you can do two things, be extra salty or play the Aphrodite game on him" I think to myself. "My name is Lyric, I'm just waiting on my mom to pick me up. I just finished a therapy session with Ms. Peace" I say sounding as innocent as possible.

" My name is Michael, I'm a security guard here; how old are you Lyric ?" he asks sounding all professional like he wasn't just checking me.

"Are you knew Sir ? I'm acquainted with every security guard here, but I've never seen you before" I say leading him further into the game.

"I'm a transfer, I play ball for UCF but I do this for extra cash, now how old are you ?" He asks again flexing to make himself seem bigger.

"I'm sixteen, what's it to you ?" I ask him with a flirtatious attitude. Alpha males like to be challenged, and I was testing to see what kind of male he was. He looked like a pretty boy, but was he ?

"Nothing, I was asking to make sure it was ok for me to be having my current thoughts" He said smiling. He was definitely playing the game now, there was no turning back.

"Hmmmph..." I say walking off, turning around quick enough for him to smell my cologne. Not looking back at him as I walked , knowing that if he was really about that life he would follow me like dogs do when they smell a bitch in heat. As I continued to walk awaiting his approach I began to think twice. " Maybe he was just being nice, or was he just flirting?...It's been a whole two minutes, something must be wrong..." I think to myself.

There was no way to know for sure, so I decided to opt for my wild card, I sat down and waited... for what seemed to be forever for him to follow my scent. By the time he caught it I would probably be getting picked up by my mom. A whole fifteen minutes later he finally follows behind me, "poor confused puppy" I think to myself regarding his slothfulness.

"Hey, Lyric right ?" he asks as if that's the only line he could come up with.

"Yes, you forgot me already ?" I ask making him smile.

"No I just wanted to make sure I got our name right" he said trying to sound hard.

"Well, you know my name... so what do you want ?" I asked him. As I awaited his response I noticed his diamond watch. "This boy must come from money" I think allowing my smile to widen and brighten automatically. There is nothing better than a pretty thug with money.

"I was just thinking to myself that I like your vibe and all. You should give me your number... just so I can make sure your visits are safe. He said beating around the bush.

"Well if that's what you need it for , I'm almost grown and can handle myself pretty well" I say taking my phone out of my pocket rising to leave.

"Well damn, at least let me put my number in your phone so we can chill; since you're almost grown and all" he says getting the hint. Normally I would have said no just for him taking so long to ask , but I'm hurt for real. I think about Jigga everyday, and when I lay down, I imagine the arms I never felt around me. I need to get over my Jersey boy, a new project I guess...