Things I swallowed and wrote instead

Another short story (Deflintief)

I really want to tell you about this man I met.

But first I'm going to tell you about my day.

I took a train from Delfzijl to Groningen.

Spent the whole day walking around and taking pictures. It was cold.

But the beautiful scenery and breathtaking architecture made it worth it.

What am I talking about?

This little South African is in the Netherlands, it could be snowing shit and raining acid and it would still be worth it.

Anyway,

The ship I work on had a blackout test today, so all 1800 crew members had to get off. They dropped us off at the local "party-centrum" in Delfzijlz after giving us each three red tokens.

I got off the bus and was surrounded by these people I call my peers, my colleagues and maybe even my friends... well somewhat.

The team decided we should go everywhere as a team, which is fine by me. Anything I could do to avoid looking like a idiot alone. As much as I would like to admit that I am this GO GETTER type person, I have this strange anxiety of being alone in a foreign place. I am yet to face my fears. But baby steps.

Team outing it is. Delfzijl to Groningen, 45 min train ride.

We spent most our day there. 285 photos and 6 hours later, we walked from the station back to the 'party-centrum"

Cold.

And I had to pee.

Finally we heard the chatter of crew and alas, we were greeted by the lights of De Bolder through a cloud of cigarette smoke.

Me? I made a B-line to the bathroom. Greeted by a group of Caribbean men trying to get me to join them in whatever they were doing. I declined.

Finally, I made my way with my 'friend' and roommate to the downstairs disco area.

Three rooms

I picked the one where you were in.

It was late'ish.

I walked into the room that smelt purely like sweat, alcohol and I'm not going to lie, bad decisions.

The music was loud and I could hear some voices trying to compete over the rhythm.

I sighed, since as much as I love to dance, I honestly did not feel like having that same group of Caribbean men try to grind up against me ... and then there is that Filipino boy trying his best to make eye contact with me as he dances like a space man since I waked in. I walk to the bar whilst digging into my jacket pocket trying to pull out one of these little red 'tokens' they gave us,

One token = one drink.

Be it alcohol or just not. I'm going with the just not.

I finally find one and pull it out of my jean jacket pocket as I look up at the bar tender.

And

I

Swear

to

God

EVERYTHING

went slow motion, the music went dull as you smiled and asked;

"Can I get you anything?"

With a smile. I felt so confident, yes. I do. I do want something.

And I am going to tell you, you fine as hell individual what it is in a second.

But then I remembered who I was, what I looked like and that one guy on YouTube said I looked like a horse, well he said that I could beat Sarah Jessica Parker in a horse lookalike contest, so my confidence dropped.

"Water... please"

You smiled and asked;

"Bottled or tap?"

I'm not very picky when it comes to water so I said;

"I'm not too picky when it comes to water, how about you surprise me"

You smiled and I swear that your smile gave me some form of hope that I honestly thought I'd lost on my way to 'self conscious city"

"THIS..." you said holding up my cup of water, "is on the house"

You winked, I smiled and figured since I speak Afrikaans and you are Dutch, and I now have this weird boost of confidence, I shall reply in your native tongue.

"Dankie well!"

Your smile grew and you seemed so pleasantly surprised,

"You speak Dutch???"

"No, but I speak Afrikaans"

"It's very similar to Dutch, yes?"

"Yes, it is."

"Where do you speak that?"

"South Africa"

"Wow, you're all the way from South Africa"

"Yeah, I'm assuming you're from here?"

Imagine circular hand gestures.

"Yes yes, not as cool as South Africa though"

"Oh no, I am utterly in love with this place, it's beautiful..."

"Yeah? You like it here?"

"I do...very much"

Your blue eyes sparkled and you looked pretty content with the current conversation you were having with me.

"I'm Simone..."

I said as I extended my hand,

"Bas... like B.A.S... typical Dutch name."

"Bas means butt in Afrikaans... well, sometimes"

You laughed and that gave me another bit of hope. The kind of hope that made me feel like I could really love again, love someone again, have someone love me again, maybe I'll even get to love you... if time permitted, probably not, but still, love was in the books for me again.

I looked down and smiled, but deep down I felt somewhat discouraged, much to my consternation I realized that I am indeed from South Africa and you from here. And yes I am thinking way ahead, which is ridiculous but yes the boy I just met, the boy with the typical Dutch name who works as a bar tender with the blue eyes and homey smile from Netherlands, Bas, makes me feel at home.

He makes me feel good.

The way he looks at me makes me feel something that I have not felt in a very long time.

Something I have cried about, because I didn't think I had it. Not just because of the comment that guy left on YouTube, no but because of many comments I got many times during my life.

This guy whose name also means butt in Afrikaans, he made me feel like something that I never thought I was.

Something stupid and probably doesn't mean much to most people, but means a whole lot to me.

Am I reading into stuff that I should not be reading into? Absolutely yes.

I have been told that I should not believe in signs and love.

But he happened right when I needed it. If only you could read my mind, it's like a very traumatic novel.

But he made me feel

Utterly

Unbelievably

Without a doubt

Beautiful,

"Ons moet dan volgende keer Duits spraken"

You say breaking my thoughts, I look up and see you smile at me.

I smile and nod;

"Deflintief"