Chase Brody Oneshots

Close Call

(This chapter contains:)

Fictional, attempted Suicide

If you don't like that or it reminds you of something, please do not read this, it's for your own good and be sure to take care of yourself.

You are not worthless and you should be loved, even with your flaws. You're still human and should be treated equally.

~~~

"Can't sleep, can't eat, can't do anything, I'm just stuck. Day in, day out, I do the same things, nothing ever changes. I just want things to go back to the way they were. I wanna go back to when I was happy. When I had.. people in my life.."

Another day comes and goes, it still stays the same. It feels the same, nothing ever changes. Does anything get better anymore? If it does, then it was very subtle.

It has been quite a while since the incident happened. Migraines do happen occasionally here and there but I'm still here which was a miracle, even Schneep wasn't sure if I was gonna make it.

After it all, I was under custody by the other egos, mostly by Schneep and Jackieboyman. If I didn't answer for a long time they grew very concerned and stayed along with me for a long time to make sure I don't do anything regretful again. I got cleaner and tried not to drink as much as I did before.

After a couple of years, they were sure I was feeling better which, to be honest, was half true but something managed to snap me out of it. 

- Being evicted, losing a child forever being more hurtful than just custody being taken from you.

Constantly these words that I told myself came back, they somehow got back inside my mind and it was hard to get them out in the first place.

"A deadbeat and disappointment of a father, helpless, not a good father in general."

I didn't want to be useless, I wanted to be a better father and be there for them, my family. What happened to us? Why did it have to happen?

~~

A feeling in Chase's chest and throat, a feeling of pressure of being overwhelmed by his own feelings. Only if we were able to stop the wrongs and make it right.

Here he was, inside his car, Chase being glued to the seat and tightly gripping onto the car wheel as he tried to suppress his going on feelings, regret, guilt, anger, and sadness. The ground of the car filled with trash, crumpled paper, and plastic wrappings. He truly was living in his own mess, just like Stacy said. 

The other's gave him positive support about him growing and moving on more than how he started but he couldn't shake the thought of the words the woman he once loved said to him. He needed to move on but he couldn't, he wanted to have his kids back as well.

He didn't want to fall into the same hole back then, he didn't want to worry or bother anyone again. Their attempts aren't gonna help him, he was convinced of that and he knew a way out. 

He failed once, he doesn't want to fail twice.

After a while where he tried to calm himself down, still failing at that, he was searching for his gun that he took with him before he was kicked out in case any funny business was around. As he checked it if it was loaded, he saw there were two bullets still in there, almost untouched. Another chance.