Awkward Gospel

A Snake and a Lion

Chapter Five

Demons didn't love. Everyone knew that. Crowley had known that from the time he Fell. And it was fine really. A lack of love didn't mean he didn't appreciate things. Wine was great. Plants were beautiful. Tourists desperate for a GPS signal were hilarious. It was a good life, even if one never fully understood sappy romantic comedies.

Which didn't explain...certain things.

Like why Crowley wanted to cry. He hadn't cried in decades and even then it tended to be overly fairly extreme situations in the human world. But he could recognize the symptoms. His chest was tight, his breath was short, and his eyes kept stinging. Worse than that, he instinctively felt like crying would somehow help his current situation.

It would not.

Instead Crowley made himself invisible and flew above the streets of London, hunting by smell for the one who was responsible for all this pain.

In the end she wasn't hard to find. She was in Regent's Park making balloon animals for children...while also pick-pocketing their parents. She wasn't masking her aura at all, probably not feeling the need to. After all, who else there was going to sense it? As Crowley landed behind her she handed a small girl a balloon giraffe.

"Here you go, little one," she said. "Remember, morality is a lie and your life has no purpose!"

The child went away without comment.

Crowley put away his wings and made himself visible again. "Is this your second assignment, then? Doing good and evil for children in the park? Seems a bit tame by the bosses' standards."

Salandra looked his way and smiled faintly. "I was wondering if it would be you who came. I'm surprised you've let me see you coming."

That...was an unsettling and unexpected response. Crowley chose to ignore it.

"I say second assignment of course, because I'm pretty sure I just came from the fallout of your first one."

Salandra shrugged and started twisting another balloon. "Oh? Did things not go well with the angel?"

Crowley snarled and slapped the balloon out of her hands with a rubbery squeak. He wasn't going to put up with any distractions. "What did you say to Aziraphale?"

"I told him to have sex with you."

"Why?"

"Because it was the closest thing he'd ever get to you loving him."

"Nrk." Did she have to be so blunt? Crowley shook his head. He had to focus. "And why did you tell him that? Out of the goodness of your heart? Did you actually think you were helping anything?"

"Oh, no. I imagine he's quite heart-broken now that you've used him and tossed him aside without a word about loving him." She smirked at him. "That's about how it went, isn't it?"

A fresh wave of fury rose in Crowley. He closed the distance between them and grabbed Salandra's shoulders hard. "So you were trying to hurt him?! You were trying to make me hurt him! I don't care what twisted demonic reasoning you were following, but I swear you are going to regret it!"

Crowley made sure to radiate all the wrath he could. He wanted her cowering in fear of him. She had to be punished for what she'd done. For the pain he'd seen in Aziraphale's eyes. He needed to get revenge. Because if he didn't...If he didn't that would mean....

Why wasn't she cowering in fear of him?

Instead she was looking at him with anticipation. "Well? I hurt your precious angel. What are you going to do about it?"