Gem of Trinity

Chapter 17

I am the Door; anyone who enters in through Me will be saved (will live). He will come in and he will go out (freely), and will find pasture. John 10:9

And it she be that whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord [invoking, adoring, and worshiping the Lord – Christ] shall be saved. Acts 2:21

A Revelation of Truth

Charles reentered the bedroom as Anthony pondered his godfather's question; have I really ever placed my trust in Christ? I know that I accepted Christ as a young child and trusted Jesus as a child, but when did I stop? When did I stop trusting God and start trusting my emotions, feelings, the lies of the enemy? When? Just then Anthony realized when he had stopped trusting Christ – when he returned to the island after seminary. No it was before he left. Anthony had thought that he would get his father's approval and love if he shared his father's profession. Charles had asked him repeatedly if he was just doing this to earn his father's love and Anthony had denied it though it was the truth. He wanted so badly to have his father return to the man he was before his mother died. All through college, he knew that yes being a part of missions was what he was to do, but he did not feel that he was to be a preacher like his father. His true love had been architecture as a child, and even now he loved to create blueprints for buildings that would rival any on the island. He loved the way that a building could be made to stand out or to blend in to its surroundings. He loved the idea of using materials that were natural, undiluted by human hands.

Truth! That was what would heal him. The Truth, My Truth Anthony, will set you free! Anthony began to feel stronger as he continued to dwell of what had led him to this revelation, this understanding of how he had gotten off track for so long. "Charles, I have a confession. I lied to you when I left to go to seminary, I always knew that I would be part of missions in some aspect, but I was never called to preach. I wanted so much for dad to return to the loving father he was before mom died that I turned from God's Will and went after what I thought would bring him back. I trusted God for so long as a child, until about 2 months after mom died. I started letting my trust slip as I watched and experienced my father's downward spiral. I thought that by becoming a preacher like him we would find that bond we had when I was a child. When he pushed me away when I returned, I was so heartbroken that I blamed God for the situation I was in. Then the last straw was the day I watched my father die. I began to hate the islanders, hate God, hate Beatrice, and hate myself. I think that I hate myself more than any of the others that I pushed that hatred towards. I have perverted the Gospel to fit my own agenda, I have led the flock that my father had astray and have done such harm so many!" The more that Anthony talked about what had happened years ago and how that it affected his relationships with the people he had once called friends and ultimately his relationship with Christ that he was sobbing and raising his voice higher and higher. "Oh, God! I am such a fool. I have caused such great pain to Your church," Anthony cried out in prayer. "How can I fix this? I don't want this millstone around my neck anymore. Jesus! I cry out to You! Forgive me of my sins against the people I love, the people I could have helped, and most of all my sins against You and Your Word! I want to restore my relationship with You. If I am to die, please let the way between You and I be cleared so that I may enter Your Kingdom with joy and thanksgiving!" Anthony, you are not forsaken as you feel. I love you and want to restore you physically, mentally, and spiritually. I forgive you. Now forgive yourself. I will guide you to make amends with those you have pushed away. I want so much to lead you to the calling I have placed upon your life. I want to give you a life filled to the fullest. Trust Me My son. I call you out of the darkness and into My perfect healing Light. Charles watched as realization and restoration changed the countenance of his godson. "Jesus, I see what You are doing in Your son, Anthony. I praise You for the healing of his body, mind, and spirit! Lead me in the ways that will help Anthony. This is Your son, you will make him a testimony for the love of God the Father. In Your name I pray! Amen."

As soon as Anthony had completed the prayer God had placed in his heart he felt the oppression leave him. No longer was he held down with the weights of his hatred and anger, now his soul was alight with the love of Christ and a renewed feeling of purpose. Charles knew that God was doing amazing things in his godson and knew that there was hope of him, God's church, and this wonderful country itself.

Anthony got out of bed and went to the kitchen. Charles followed wondering what his friend and godson was doing. Anthony looked at Charles' perplexed expression and laughed. "Charles, I have not had a decent meal in over a month. I just haven't been hungry, but now I am starving!" Charles smiled as he watched Anthony make a PB&J sandwich. That is one sandwich I would have thought he would have tired of since he ate it every day as a child.

"Charles," Anthony's contrite and almost frightened voice shook his godfather out of his musings. "How do I fix the damage I've done? How do I reconnect with those I drove away?" Charles knew that these questions were coming and he gave the only answer he could, "Anthony, start with seeking Christ's will and all will fall into place." Anthony took a deep breath before he replied, "Charles, will you help me?" The nod he received from his godfather gave him hope. Anthony bowed his head as he prayed. "Jesus, Your Will is perfect and for so long I have run and fought against it. But now, Lord, I am seeking it, I am asking that Your Will will guide my steps. I have hurt so many and have given false witness against my own friends. I need to know how to start this path of healing. Do this to Your Glory not mine. Amen." Neither Anthony nor Charles spoke after Anthony's prayer. There was an overwhelming feeling of peace and rejuvenation as Anthony heard Christ speak to him, "Anthony, thank you for seeking My guidance. There are many who are ready to accept you with open arms. There are some who will take a bit longer. However there is one that you need to face: Call Beatrice." Anthony knew Jesus was correct, there were many that had continued to reach out and some who had distanced themselves, but Anthony knew who the first person he was to contact before God said her name.
His sister had reached out to him each day. Most times he ignored her attempts at communication, but the few times he engaged her he treated her horribly. Beatrice represented everything there was trying to run from – love, family, friendships, etc. As Anthony thought about his sister he did not realize he had walked into his study. When he recognized where he was he walked around his desk and sat while reaching for the phone.

He knew the number by heart. He should, he dialed it nearly every day, but hung up before the line connected. This time as he listened to the line ring Anthony was physically shaking. Charles saw his godson vibrating with emotion and moved to stand by him and placed his hand on Anthony's shoulder to let him know he was not alone.

Suddenly Anthony was as still as a statue.

"Hello?" The voice he knew just as he knew his own was on the line. "Hello," the voice repeated just as Anthony snapped out of his stunned silence. "Beatrice? It's Anthony." The gasp and suddenly shaking voice on the other end caused Anthony concern. "Anthony?! Are you alright? What's the matter?" Anthony realized that his sister would be concerned about an illness or injury since Anthony NEVER called. "Beatrice, I... I'm fine," the sigh on the line made Anthony fear she would hang up like he had so many times. "Beatrice! Don't hang up! I need to talk to you." The laughter Anthony heard on the line was refreshing and unexpected. "Anthony, I would never hang up on you. I am just revealed and overjoyed to hear from you. Yes Mat, it is Anthony!" It was Anthony's turn to laugh at the astonishment he heard in his brother-in-law's voice. Hearing her brother laugh made Beatrice both laugh and cry. "Oh, Anthony, you have no idea how I have longed to hear you laugh. 'Sniff' Oh, sorry, I'm just so happy!" For the next forty-five minutes the siblings talked; Anthony begging for forgiveness, Beatrice offering it freely. "Anthony, I am so glad and praise God for the saving Grace He provides. Would you and Charles like to come over? We can have dinner and talk more. If you're ..." Anthony interrupted blurting out, "We would be delighted!" For the next few minutes they discussed when and what Anthony and Charles should bring. As soon as Anthony hung up he knew who he needed to call next. Steeling himself for the lecture he would endure, Anthony called the head deacon to advise of his encounter with God and the truth. He knew that the deacon would demand his resignation.

When he finished with the call he prayed, "Jesus, You know the things that Mark said and I just want to forgive him for his bigotry. I felt the need to share what happened and know the seed was planted. Amen." Giving his resignation brought such relief to him. He knew God was putting him in a new season and that there was a request of rest.