Let's Hurt Tonight

27

Amelia

It's finally almost Christmas. 

I feel like I've been saying that for a while now, but now it is legitimately almost Christmas, December 21st to be exact. And here I am, in my own worst nightmare, Christmas shopping. 

I have been planning on getting Harry a Christmas gift for a while now, but my plans changed slightly when I saw the gift he bestowed upon me. How can I get him something nearly as nice? What do you get someone that has everything, especially when you have no money?

"What about a shirt or something?" Emma suggests. 

I brought her and Charlie with me since James and Mikey had something to do with Mom and Dad. I think they mentioned a doctors appointment or something along those lines. All I knew was Emma and Charlie were my responsibility so I had to tow them along with me.

I wasn't planning on going shopping today for Harry's gift. I've been looking for a little while now but nothing has sparked my interest. I think I've been secretly hoping that something magical would appear and everything would fall into place, but nothing has and now I'm panicking. Harry leaves tomorrow for England and I still don't have a gift to give him. 

"I don't think a shirt will cut it," I tell Emma, thinking about all the designer bags that Harry had littered across his hotel room the first time I went over. Plus he got me a car. How do I even compete with that? "I mean it might but I want to get him something...bigger? I don't know..."

"What about a nerf gun? Or some leggos! Can I get the new pirate set?" Charlie interjects.

I huff and roll my eyes before denying his request. Leave it to him to shake me down for a present right before Christmas. I'm not surprised though. He constantly asks me for money when I go over, even though he's so young and doesn't technically need it. He'll try to bribe me or make barters, as if I wouldn't realize his little game. 

Although I give him credit for trying so occasionally I'll slip him a five dollar bill. 

I find myself growing increasingly frustrated currently with how many people are in the mall. I didn't expect anything different, but that still doesn't help the rage I feel coursing through my body. I'm especially irate when some middle-aged lady's body slams into me so she can get to a pair of shoes. It takes everything in me not to scream.

Choose love, give love. Treat people with kindness. 

I repeat those words over and over in my mind, trying to channel my inner 'Harry'. It doesn't make sense how he's so nice and it's so genuine, too. It blows my mind and warms my heart at the same time. Why does he like me? I can be cynical and rather indifferent to people's feelings at times. I'm not an awful person, I don't think, but I'm definitely not in the same realm as Harry when it comes to 'niceness'. He deserves a saint and I can only aspire to be half that. 

"Come on," I mutter to Emma and Charlie, grabbing both of their hands. "Let's go."

I lead the two of the them out of the store we are in and out to my parked car. 

My car. 

It's so weird to say that. I haven't gotten used to it, and I don't know if I ever will. 

I'm extra careful as I pull out, nervous I'll accidentally hit something. I'm a fairly decent driver but there's always a part of me that isn't confident with certain things, and of course, with a new car, it would be my luck to do something stupid. 

As I'm driving through town, debating my next move, my phone rings. Emma's quick to reach over and grab it, answering it before I even give her the 'okay' too.