Learning to Love Myself #lookingforalaskacontest

Learning to Love Myself

Did you ever got the feelings of unimportance? Have you ever felt like ending yourself? A lot of people have had that feeling. I also used to feel like that. I felt like a nobody.

I think a lot of you had suffered from depression,I've also suffered from depression. Now that I've overcome it,sometimes when I look back I think that it was the worst time of my life.
I'm 12 years old now,and I've been into depression for 4 years and 6 months. Now let's get into my story....

Year 2015...

It was 21st March,2015. That day was a very happy day for me,as today me,my mom and my dad we three went out for shopping and lunch. I was enjoying the day very much. It was time for the day to end. Me and my mom we returned home and my dad was still out,chilling with his friends.

When my dad came back we had dinner and we three were preparing for bed until.....My dad started to sweat continuously and we all panicked. We took him to hospital.
My dad was in the ICU and me and mom were outside crying our heart out. That when it hit me...something rushed across my brain and straightforward hitted my heart when the doctors told that "we're sorry." Me and mom started crying even hard....But luckily almighty saved my dad. After 5 minutes when the doctors were about to give up,he started making noises and that when the doctors again started the treatment.
And from that time onwards my life become upside down and that when it started...depression.

Year 2016 and 2017...

This two years were my life's worse years. Because from 2016,my depression started to turn into monsters. And I understood that I'm in depression in 2017. People started judging me,my grades were going down and I was unable to choose my passion.

It felt like the world around me is slowly falling apart and one day even I'll break....I started to dislike and hate myself.

Year 2018.(My intense level)

Another worst year....this year things got even more sad and depressing when my mom..... thought that I'm hopeless. What effected me the most is my mom's and other people judgements.
I can't remember a night in 2018 without crying...every night I cried....

Year 2019.. (My recovering)
I was still suffering and trying to find a way out of this world. But luckily that time came 7 shining stars and showed me the way out of this depression. And they are none other than BTS!!! Love yourself,they taught me how to love myself,how to believe in myself and always speak myself. And I still remember the morning I woke up, it was 5th of July,2019 when I felt like something has gone away from my head and heart.
I was happy again.

                            I Love You Bangtan Sonyeondan

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