Raincoat

Medicaménta Utíliter

"David, my love, I am writing to you because you are the only person in this world of billions who understands me. I have tried everything to get in touch with you but you are nowhere to be found. Why did you leave me without a goodbye? Did I do something wrong? I beg you to please return to me, you are the only man I've ever loved and the only man who has loved me back, I love you."

--

I stared longingly at his emerald eyes. I stared so deeply almost as if this would be the last time I would be able to witness them, engraving them into my mind. I watched as they watched my bluer ones back almost with the same hunger. 

His hands filled with raised veins felt up and down my arm, sending a shiver up my spine. My tongue unconsciously licked my lips as I continued staring at the god in front of me. His hands stopped at the pit of my elbow and his eyes returned back to meet mine. He laid a warm compress onto it and stared at me, almost in pity. 

He instructed for me to hold the compress down while he tied two unused condoms together, not once looking away from my orbs. 

"I hate doing this to you" He whispered. 

I watched as he tied the condoms right above my elbow pit, this was my signal to open and close my fist multiple times. With one hand, he felt my vein and with the other he brought a needle above it. 

"Don't" I finally replied before titling my head back and feeling the drugs rush through my body. 

Heroin. 

Usually during an episode of this, it is accompanied with dirty, rough sex. Tonight was different, David insisted on just having the high. 

Weird.

✂

Back at home my mother, Marissa, scrambled to pack her overnight bag. She was dressed in scrubs with her hair tightly balled up into a high bun. She reminded me of food being in the fridge and to take care of Wilma while she's gone. 

This is a typical night. 

With my mom being the only person working in the house, she has to constantly rush to and from work mornings and nights. I have not been able to ever enjoy a single day with my mother. In order to pay the rent as well as a portion of Wilma's medical bills, my mother takes any and every shift she can lay her hands on. 

Growing up, I hated her for doing this to me. It wasn't until I realized why she was doing it that made me so proud of her. She worked so hard to raise me as well as care for Wilma all alone. 

My father has yet to give her a cent of his continued earnings. His box office movies are still making him millions and here we are, struggling to stay alive while he vacations in jail. 

The worst part of it all is not how bad we're struggling but rather, how he knows our situation and has done nothing about it. 

I walked towards Wilma's room, carrying a hot bowl of vegetable soup. Opening the door, I see her silhouette against the wall of her room. She was wearing a thick wool coat and had a blanket wrapped around her. Her fingers were long and skinny but soft to touch. She rocked back and forth on her rocking chair as she stared out the window. 

"Here you go ma" I said as I placed the bowl on the table in front of her. 

I sat down on the bed and watched her take spoonfuls of soup as she continued staring outside the window. 

Wilma no longer had her curly brown hair, only the skin of her head remained. Something she covered constantly with a woven beanie. 

"Why don't you go see your father, L?" Wilma began. "Perhaps he can explain why he's doing the things he's doing to ya" 

I looked down at my hands which involuntarily clenched in anger. 

"There's nothing left to say, his actions has said it all" I responded. 
"That man loves you more than life itself. He went chasing after you the minute he found out you existed, the entire reason he's in there was because of what your grandmother did to you. I raised that boy L, trust me" Wilma said before coughing hoarsely. 

I stared up at her, she relaxed back in her chair and brought the soup back onto the table. All the chemotherapy and radiation devoured her appetite. 

"My dying wish is that you go speak to him, that is all I want" 

Wilma's dark chocolate eyes looked at my blue ones, they have lost all hope and have dried out the socket in which they lived. 

I nodded.