Word count: 1289
{ Dedicated to : min_minter }
{ disclaimer: mentions of death and self harm, hallucinations suicide and mental health are mentioned }
Wondering through the graveyard I felt like something was watching me, more like someone. It must of been JJ.
JJ had been dead now for 2 weeks 3 days 6 hours 27 minutes and 52 seconds. JJ was an assassin and I was his assistant, I remember how he died, I watched it go down.
It was 28th of may, 6:34am. We were about to go through with our biggest assassination yet. It was a guy named Telford hinging , 24 years old, 6'1 , beard, very muscular and he worked for the government. We had been tracking down his schedule for the past 2 months to make sure we had the perfect time to get him. We left the house with all out stuff for the assassination and waited for him, when he arrived JJ didn't stick to the plan and ran straight at him. Got himself shot with an ak47 right in heart and the brain. I just sat there and watched , nothing I could have done. It hurt like hell though because even though JJ didn't know I did, I was crazy about him, everything about him I loved him yet I didn't save him. Part of me wishes I had stopped him or got in the way of the bullet but I didn't and part of me is glad I didn't because it taught me a super valuable lesson.
I continued to walk through the graveyard as I approached jjs grave. The grave shone freshly as I looked down I noticed a couple of dead flowers, flopping over the edge. JJ was one crazy motherfucker.
Olajide William Olatunji
28/05/08
Died at St Adams church 6:37am
Bullet wounds
May he rest peaceful
I felt my heart shatter again as I read over the words, I knelt down on one knee and placed the flowers delicately into the flower holder and moved the rotten old ones.
Icy fingers gripped my warm arms and I turned around in shock, what the fuck?
No one was there, everything went dark and then came back again, I saw JJ standing there in his own flesh looking right at me. Had I gone insane?
"Hello" his words were coldly emotionless, I felt empty inside.
I didn't repsond I just shook and closed my eyes, I told myself he would go away and that I didn't have to look at him. I knew he was gonna manipulate my mind and all my decisions and I couldn't have that again.
Last time I saw JJ after he died was 7/6/8 , I was sat in my living room crying watching videos that me and JJ used to jokingly film together , I felt a sharp presence behind me , I turned around and there he stood, I just stared and eventually his eyes began to spin and spin and spin, he began to shout at me to cut myself and to cut myself, I covered my ears and the voices just got louder, so I did , I cut myself deeply. It hurt badly but it lowered the voices and that's all I needed.
I slowly exited the graveyard trying so hard to not look jj in the eyes, he began to speak to me
"you were supposed to die not me, you have no worth on this planet, you have nothing without me and you might as well die you got nothing to live for. It's your fault your mom killed herself and it's your fault your dad ran away, everything is your fault Josh, nothing isn't your fault Josh" JJ whispered into my ear.
I took a deep breath and kept on walking his voice followed me
"Why don't you just give your jide a good old cut down your leg, so I can watch the blood ooze. You got to watch the blood ooze out of my body when I was shot when is it gonna be my turn" he teased
I ran and ran but he wouldn't shut up
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE JIDE, ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU ARE A SHIT PERSON AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE BLACKMAIL NO MORE, ITS PATHETIC AND UNFAIR, IM TIRED OF CUTTING MY SKIN TO PLEASE YOU AND IM TIRED OF BEING YOUR PUPPET. YOU ARE DEAD! YOU GOTTA LET ME GET ON WITH MY LIFE" I exclaimed into the public.
I zones back in as the voices slowly emptied my brain, everyone stood staring at me and giving me dirty looks, like I was some physco path when I'm completely sane. I'm fine I don't need help I need JJ to leave me alone is what I need.
I dragged my feet into my house and sat on the couch and began to cry. I was such a freak, talking to dead people. JJ is right I got nobody but him and it was my fault my mom killed herself and my dad left, if I never became a burden in their life then they would still be happy and my mom would be alive and my dad would still be with her, I should have left so they could have kept their perfect life. They didn't desevere to deal with my constant bullshit. Even the little things like waking them up in the middle of the night when I was being sick because I was too scared of being alone or asking for hugs when I got upset, eating all their food and using all their money . Making them buy me shit I didn't need and making them deal with my tantrums and all the stupid things. I was an ungrateful little shit and I didn't deserve nothing I should have just listened to them and did as they asked maybe then my life would be perfect like I wanted. Why couldn't I have been the child they wanted whey couldn't I have been perfect for them. They go and I go insane, I start killing people for the pleasure. They didn't raise me like that, they raised me to be a good nice person who helps out in the community and not expect anything from it or a person who saves lives and donated to charities and helps the homeless. That's how they raised me, they didn't raise a murderer and a physco path.
°° one month later °°
I strolled down the street in my jeans and polo shirt with some trainers. I kept my eyes on my phone as I texted some of my online friend. I had recently become a heck lot happier and it was nice, I was finally moving on in life and that was a big step for me . I kept my eyes on my phone and stared deeply at it. My body pushed against someone else's as I dropped my phone on the floor
"Shit!" I exclaimed as I looked down at my phone.
A manly hand picked up my phone for me and passed it me. I looked up at him with generous eyes, he look like an Adrien. He had golden brown hair and beautiful blue eyes.
He passed over the phone and our hands touched ever so slightly. I glasses my phone and threw it into my pocket.
The young man reached his his hand out for me to shake, I shook his hand ever so softly.
"Hey I'm Harry" he smiled
Wow I was far off with the name
"I'm josh"
"Well it was lovely meeting you josh, I hope to see you around sometime"
I thought to myself
I hope to see you around too
