To Catch a Butterfly || Camren

Chapter X

The waiting area for Lee's office is bright and welcoming. The white couches say, 'we can help you.' The glass coffee table says, 'we can see right through you and your petty problems.' There aren't any windows, just black-framed photos of abstract landscape art. There's a fake bamboo tree in the corner of the room; the leaves have been washed and waxed. Something about the room and its connection to Lauren unnerves Camila. Too squeaky clean, she thinks. Lauren is sitting at the opposite end of the couch, going as far as to lean over the armrest just to distance herself from Camila. There's a hallway past Lauren leading to the offices, but Camila can only see one of the door's labels: Tami Kelly, Financial Counseling. She wonders idly if there's any way Lauren could be struggling with finances, but only to keep her mind busy. Lauren is staying at the Ritz... Financial troubles are not likely. But what if she's struggling with finances because she's staying at the Ritz?  But she'd spoken to a man on the phone and he didn't sound like a Tami. But maybe he's her assistant... Girl power. The thought process is enough to keep her mind occupied, and that's all she could ask for sitting in this all-too-clean room with Lauren Jauregui. 

The financial counselor 'Tami' steps out of her room and calls for a 'Sara.' The girl sitting by the bamboo plant stands. Tami's eyes meet Lauren's as she looks up. Camila tries to ignore it, but Tami's gaze lingers for longer than it should. Come on... it shouldn't bother her. Camila remembers when she was the only one in a twenty-mile radius who liked girls. It was her secret, then. She might have come out, but it still feels like her secret. Lauren still feels like her secret. That secret is over - especially in New York, and especially with Lauren. The door at the end of the hallway opens. 

Lauren drops her phone and throws herself across the couch. She scooches close to Camila's side and... hugs her. Camila's body stiffens, somewhere between a deer in the headlights and a raccoon playing dead.

"Relax," Lauren whispers. Relax. The advice works about as well as it would if there was a snake closing around her waist, snipping off the last of her air supply. Relax. 

"Go with it," She says.

So Camila squeezes her eyes shut and sets her chin on Lauren's shoulder. Her hair smells like some new coconut shampoo, but her shoulder still smells like Lauren. It's a blend of linen and some fruit, and something else that, no matter how long she dwells on it, Camila can't attribute to a certain smell. She finally relaxes, melting into Lauren's shoulder when-

"Lauren," A man's voice says. Lauren's hands trail down Camila's arms as she pulls away. She smiles at her. Against all her better judgment, Camila feels that it's genuine.

"Lee," Lauren says. They both stand to greet him. 

"Nice to see you."

"Hi. We met over the phone," Camila says, hand extended towards Lee. He takes it and gives a sturdy shake before he replies.

"Yes, indeed we did. Camila Cabello, in the flesh. Please, come in."

Lauren grabs Camila's hand again. Camila writhes in her grasp, but one strong squeeze from Lauren seems to say go with it. 

Before Lee opens the door and lets them pass, she catches sight of the label on his office door. Lee Hickey, PhD. Psychologist. Lauren is in therapy? Camila is only slightly less concerned than she is impressed. She didn't peg Lauren for a therapy kind of girl. She really didn't peg her for a therapy kind of girl. Any girl can be a therapy kind of girl but Lauren just ... isn't.

Lee's office is more colorful than the waiting room, a collage of light greens, beige, and browns. Lauren finally drops Camila's hand, falling into the couch in the center of the room. She pats the seat next to her with the same 'genuine' grin. Camila isn't sure if she wants to scoff or smile. Sitting down next to Lauren, she's barely present. Her mind is running through a reel of memories, all of the moments that led her here. Nothing helps her understand why she's here. How did she get here? She was here for Dinah, that's the reason. That's the reason that makes the most sense.