Mushrooms

April Fools rally

Foreword:

"Receiving the high rank of a doctor and embarking on medical activities, I solemnly swear:

devote all knowledge and strength to the protection and improvement of human health, treatment and prevention of the disease, to work in good faith where it is required by the interests of society ... "

                                                      (from the oath of Hypocrates)

***

"This is what the head is buzzing to," the trendy family psychotherapist Gunondosovy, who was nicknamed Gundosy's doctors as his colleagues, was massaging the back of his head with his right hand, languidly examining the remains of the corporate bickering arranged on the occasion of his birthday, lying on the table. - And why the hell did you have to mix whiskey with skewer yesterday ... And what else is this? - interrupting the chain of logical thinking, a new thought crashed into a weakened brain.

 Gundosy's was almost thrown off the chair, at the sight of those piquant little things that brought chaos into his sluggish current thought process. On a hanger, where he usually hung his coat and hat, causing association with the Christmas tree garland, brazenly flashing his inner essence, there were dozens of women's satin and knitted panties, apparently sewn at the Moskvashvey factory. In connection with the sanctions, French guipure lingerie sunk irrevocably into oblivion ... but those sanctions gave an impetus to the development of their sewing light industry. Next in line was her Kevlar bras and pads of gauze, gelatin and syntopon.

-Blya fly, but where did they come from here !? Yes, there were so many women here yesterday !? he thought, dumbfounded, pouring the remnants of viskar into his cup with a trembling hand.

  Drinking alcohol somewhat refreshed his memories and relieved his headache. A smoked cigarette, in general, allowed not only to think, but also to try to build a logical chain ... If there are objects of a female intimate toilet, then the ladies themselves were present and most likely of easy virtue ... And who could invite them? Dead end ... It was decidedly impossible to get out of it. His hand itself reached for the phone and automatically dialed the familiar number of a nurse and mistress in combination:

-Hello! - he greeted his interlocutor. - Where are you? Already on the way to the clinic? Why are you coming here? How to work !? Are we hosting patients today? What day is it today? How is monday? Are you kidding he asked mechanically, beginning to realize that two days off, after his birthday, had fallen from his memory.

If Friday night could still be restored, then what happened next was covered in obscurity for him. Whether he was having a drink with someone, drove a whore or stupidly overslept the weekend, it was not clear, but judging by the abundance of cowards, after a couple of three days, he would have to visit a venereologist she knew, and send the nurse to the gynecologist, it pained her happy voice .. .This is at best. And in the worst, most likely, you will have to collect your own things and look for not only a new apartment, but also a wife. Due to the fact that his missus was not just the daughter of the head doctor of this elite private clinic where he worked, but also a co-founder with a controlling stake.

"You got it," thought Gundosy's  doomedly.

Interrupting his thoughts, someone knocked on the door of his office and judging by the fact that they knocked persistently, brazenly, in a businesslike way - these were by no means ill patients who came to the reception.

-Who's there? - Asked a rhetorical question dumbfounded by such impudent perseverance Gundosy's.

-Police. Do not do stupid citizen Gunondosov, open the door for good yourself! Do not force us to use force! someone shouted in an angry voice outside his office door.

And then, as if in confirmation of these words, somewhere in the courtyard there was an automatic burst and the crash of an exploding light-noise grenade was heard. For the thin, pampered and weakened by the excessive use of alcohol, the psyche of the doctor, psychotherapist Gundosy's, this was already busy. Smoke began to creep into the window slit, the office spun in front of Gundosy's eyes, the floor quickly began to approach his face, and now the saving gloom began to envelop his consciousness. Gundosy collapsed to the floor: "Out, ready," he still managed to hear someone's words, and finally lost consciousness.

"You kind of weak weak one," this is the first thing that Gundosy's heard, opening his eyes after oblivious oblivion. "Well, don't play the fool, dear." Come on, come to consciousness - it was a joke sweet, innocent prank. Since April 1st, you are dear! - continued to coo his wife's voice.

"I've already visited a squirrel with pans,"Gundosy's thought doomedly, considering the people crowding in his office through the foggy haze, in the study. - Who are you? - checking his worldview, he asked the first question that came to mind.

-Yes, Che, you dog, you're lying around. Stop showing off! - slapped his noble and slapped by her from all magnitude slap, shook all the neurons of the drunken brain of Gundosy's bringing them into a relatively logical order. I did not need a dropper either. The eclipse has passed. Glad that it was just a rally, the happy husband threw himself into the arms of his beloved wife.

And somewhere, not far, near the office door, a tearful, but for some reason happy face of a pregnant nurse, an involuntary participant in the April Fool's innocent rally, floated in a foggy haze.

Afterword:

  Do not worry. Everything should end well with them. It is possible that they will even get married, and they will give birth to twins. True, they will not work in that prestigious clinic. But after all, people work in villages and villages and live happily.