The Good Kind Of Bad (smut) // Jungkook X Reader

Chapter Three

The classroom was empty.

I'm typically the first to be in class everyday, usually alone, but today, it was me and Jungkook. I enjoy the 30 minutes of silence before people start arriving, but jungkooks company made me feel warm inside.

No.

I can't think like that.

He isn't even in this class, so what is he doing in here anyways? He makes my heart feel so, I don't know, everywhere? It's not a comfortable feeling. It's unusual, but at the same time it's nice. I don't like it.

"What's your next class?" Jungkook suddenly sputters out.

I jump slightly as I was dragged away from my thoughts. "English. Why?"

"I'll meet you by mr. Carvers room." Sounded more like a demand than a question, but I didn't mind.

"Okay." I looked up at him as he stood up, he looked back with soft eyes that made me melt.

He waved slightly as he turned around to walk out the door while people started to crowd it. I sighed. Now that he was gone everything felt the same as it did before he was by my side. I should be used to it, and I know I said I didn't like the feeling I had when he was around, but I liked it more than this. I feel like an ant being drowned in water with all the thoughts that flooded my brain. My mind wanders, goes to places good and bad, I can't stop thinking.

I can't stop thinking about what it would be like if my life wasn't the way it was.

I can't stop thinking about how my life could have turned out if my parents kept me.

I can't stop thinking about how my life would be if I found love.

I can't stop thinking about how my life would be if I felt loved and cared about.

I can't stop thinking about Jungkook.

I can't stop thinking about his presence.

I can't stop thinking about his smile, his hair, his eyes, his voice.

Just him.

"Y/N?" I snap out of my daze and look in front of me.  It's  Taehyung. Again.

"Yes?" I sigh and remove my head from where it was resting on my arms.

"Could you stay after with me? I need help with something." He pleaded.

"I don't know about that. I'm not sure I can." I shrugged my shoulders, "I'll see about it." I knew I couldn't. I had work. Maybe I'll call in sick, I never do. It's the only way I could anyways, grandma would never let me. She'd kill me if she knew I skipped work.

He lowered his head slightly and nodded before walking away. I closed my eyes and ran over everything grandma asked me to do when I got home. Jungkooks face flashed my eyes. I released a sigh through my lips and opened my eyes again. I've never had to deal with not being able to get somebody off my mind. It's difficult. There was one thing I was set on and I knew I couldn't give in to my feelings.

He won't think about me the way I'll think about him.

He'll be over me quicker than I can blink.

He can't love me if nobody else does.

He won't love me when there are better people to love.

He won't love me if I can't even love myself.

I know I don't know him. I know he doesn't know me. I want to know him, but I don't trust he really truly wants to know me. Even if I wanted to I couldn't.

What chances do I have to see him anyways? I can't leave without grandmas permission, I work constantly, and honestly, he probably doesn't want to know me. No one does. Everyone leaves anyways.

In the end, I know that nobody will take care of me but myself.

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AHHH what do you guys think? Yes? No? I know it's been a while since I've updated I got busy and forgot about this but I realized that a lot of people liked it and I want to continue it for them.

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