Yoongi
when he is drunk in love
When you got a call at around midnight on a Thursday, you were quite baffled. You were still up studying for an upcoming exam when your phone had vibrated on the desk, startling you. Looking at the screen you saw Yoongi's name pop up. Why was he calling you this late ?
You and Yoongi were really good friends, best friends you would even claim, and you knew that he never called anyone. He hated talking on the phone and even refused to record voice notes - he was more of a texter, and even when he texted he liked to keep things short.
An unsettling feeling spread in your guts as worst case scenarios played out in your head. Anxiously picking up the phone, you prayed that he was okay.
"Hello ?" you spoke.
"(Y/N) ?" he slurred on the other line and you could immediately tell that he was drunk. Feeling your tense muscles loosen up again, you heaved a quiet sigh of relief. He wasn't injured or in danger - he was drunk.
"You are drinking on a Thursday ?" you asked him incredulously.
"So what ?" he said in a sassy tone and you rolled your eyes. He was always so childish when he drank, either that or he was extremely sappy and sad.
"Why are you calling me at this unreasonable hour ? I could have been asleep, you know that right ?"
"(Y/N) I feel so sad" he blurted out, and he sounded genuine about it. Growing serious, you asked: "Where are you Yoongi ?"
"(Y/N) I feel so lonely and depressed" he continued to talk without answering your question.
"Tell me where you are" you told him. You didn't want him to be out and about in this state on his own. You felt responsible for him; you wouldn't be able to get a blink of sleep if you didn't make sure he was safe and sound in his bed.
"Where I always end up in the end" he muttered and you had difficulty to understand what he was saying. What the hell did that mean ? Why was he making a mystery out of it ? You didn't have the time nor nerve to solve his word plays.
"Yoongi just tell me-" you began to say when your sentence was interrupted by the sound of your bell ringing. Closing your parted lips, you finally understood. He was at your door. Getting up and quickly walking to your front door, you opened it. As assumed Yoongi was stood in front of your door. The cold air brushed your bare legs, making you shudder. You were wearing pajama shorts and one of Yoongi's old shirts that he had left at your house when he had stayed at yours. Hanging up your phone, you looked at him.
He was dressed in all back: black skinny jeans, a black cap and a black hoodie. His face was pale and his eyes bloodshot.
"Come here" you told him, pulling him into your arms. You were weak for Yoongi. You cared deeply about him and couldn't bear to see him unhappy. The truth was that you had feelings for him, feelings that you knew he couldn't requite, which was why you pretended as if you weren't in love with him. Only looking at him, when he wasn't paying attention, trying not show how excited you got when he randomly showed up at your door, suppressing your smile whenever he said your name.
Yoongi let himself fall into your arms, burying his face in your neck and tightly held onto you.
Shutting the door with your foot, you moved into the living room where you sat on the couch. Yoongi sat with hunched shoulders, head hung low, staring at his feet. He looked so sad, that it hurt you. You made the both of you a cup of tea and handed him his mug, as you sat down beside him.
"What's going on in that mind of yours ?" you asked in a soft tone, shifting closer to him. Rubbing his back, you tried to comfort him. He was holding the mug in both his hands, eyes fixated on it.
"Yoongi" you urged him, "You know that you can talk to me right ? I won't judge."
He heaved a deep sigh, his knuckles turning white as he tightened his grip on the mug.
You watched him as he parted his lips multiple times, but he couldn't seem to get the words out.
His mind was filled with so many thoughts, he was close to losing it completely. All night he had been drinking trying to get you off his mind. Some nights were pretty harsh on him, when he couldn't seem to stop thinking about you. He was so afraid of losing you, more than he was afraid you would never be his. This was the only reason why he hadn't confessed to you yet. He couldn't bring himself to say the words. He refused to say them even if it killed him in the end. These heavy feelings tore his heart apart, he was dying inside every time he left your side. It was killing him being so close yet so far away from you.
Even though you were sat beside him, he couldn't reach out to you, take your face into his hands, caress your cheek, hold your hand. His imagination was always running, playing out all of these scenarios of you and him. Sometimes those images in his mind would be so vivid that he struggled to keep reality and fantasy apart. In those moments he felt so lost and out of touch with the world. He was all consumed by you and he didn't know how to contain these intense feelings anymore. He was so close to losing it, to losing you. He could literally feel you slipping through his fingers, his world crashing down on him.
"Yoongi what's wrong, please tell me, I am worried" you said, taking the mug from his hands and putting it on the coffee table.
Hot tears were streaming down his face and you felt helpless as you watch him fall apart in front of you, not knowing what to do about it. Instinctively you inched closer to him, taking his face into your hands and lifting it so that he was looking at you. His eyes were filled with tears, his nose red and his lips quivering. Your heart broke at the sight of him.
"(Y/N)" he whispered your name, unable to speak up.
"Yoongi what happened, why are you like this ?" you demanded, feeling deeply upset.
"I love her so, so much" he muttered under his breath. A sharp stinging pain shot through your chest as you heard the words that fell from his lips.
A girl was the reason of his agony. He was heartbroken. The boy you loved was in love with someone else.
You had lost the feeling in your fingertips and your mind had gone blank. Tears were welling up in your eyes. Yoongi suddenly collapsed into your arms, burying his head in your neck. You could feel his hot tears on your skin, his fingers tightly gripping onto your shirt. He was sobbing uncontrollably. The pain you felt inside was so intense that it overwhelmed you completely. You hadn't expected to be this devastated from such news. Wrapping your arms tightly around him, you held onto him not wanting to ever let him go. You were so jealous; jealous that he loved someone so deeply that he was completely falling apart for her.
It hurt so much to know that it wasn't you who he was yearning for. The world around you had stopped spinning and you felt caught in the moment.
"I love you (Y/N)" he said, pulling away slightly and looking at you. He held your arms, keeping himself steady as he desperately tried to gather up the courage to say it again.
"I love you, (Y/N). I love you so, so much. I hate myself for being so selfish and telling you this, but I love you and I feel like I will die if I don't tell you this. So I am telling you right now and I will say it a million fucking more times if I need to, I love you, I love you, I love you so fucking much."
A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, that had been heavy on him all this time. He felt like he could breathe again, even though he was terrified to lose you. It felt euphoric to say these words he had longed to tell you for such a long time.
So when you grabbed his face and kissed him, the whole universe seemed to have stopped for the both of you, as if it all had been written in the stars all along and in that very moment everything had aligned for the both of you as your lips touched and sweet relief took over the both of you.
"I love you, Yoongi" you breathed, as you broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his. His eyes were sparkling as he seemed to be looking into your soul.
That kiss had sealed a bond between the two of you that was to last forever.
*A/N follow my imagine page on Instagram at moonchild_starrynight :)
