Creepypasta Rituals

A Simple Demonic Ritual

Why are so many rituals used to summon demons so very complicated. I mean, if you're a demon who wants to steal the souls of the living as they try for a prize, why have your ritual need to be done at a certain time in a certain place with certain items in a certain way with certain people and certain reasons? Why not, for example, design a ritual that anyone could do? Like the one I'm here to tell you about.

The items required for this ritual are: the blood of a lamb slain at exactly 3:24 pm Eastern Standard Time on October 5th, a shingle from the roof of a burned down church, and seven other indistinct and impossible to find items. Ha, just kidding. All you'll need for this ritual is your living body, assuming you're still in possession of that. This ritual can be done at any time in any place, but I suggest you do it somewhere private, simply to avoid looking odd to passing strangers.

Find your place and close your eyes. Assuming you have eyelids. If not, don't bother, it doesn't matter either way. Begin thinking of the worst thing you've ever seen. If all you've seen are fluffy kittens your whole life, just try to think of the least adorable of them (the creator of this ritual loves fluffy kittens). Once you have that thought in your head, say in your mind: I give you this. After that is done, nothing will happen. Open your eyes (again, assuming you had eyelids to close them with), dispel all thoughts of slightly adorable fluffy kittens, and go about your business.

Days will pass, months, perhaps years (if you're lucky that is). Eventually, you'll die. That's right, you'll die, it happens to everyone. It won't be an odd death, involving lots of pentagrams and mysterious disappearances and the like, it'll just be a normal death. Getting hit by a car while walking across the street perhaps, or maybe just passing away peacefully in your sleep. Your eyes will close gently (those darn missing eyelids), and you'll slip off into death. You'll be mourned I'm sure, most people are.

Now, the afterlife. Arriving there is boring for most, the whole climbing up a staircase into the clouds takes a lot more time than you'd think. You'll arrive at the gates of Heaven, pass through them, grab a pair of wings and a halo, etc. etc. You'll be there for a bit doing whatever people in Heaven do, swinging off clouds and scaring birds or something, I dunno. But then one day, it'll all change. The colors of Heaven will grow muted, the sounds will be dampened, the smells dissipated. The clouds under your feet will scatter, and you'll fall down to Earth. There you'll hit the ground, right above your grave. The ground will be pushed apart as your body comes out to meet you. Interred only moments before, it will be in near perfect condition. As your soul and your body meet it will lose anything wrong with it, scars and blemishes erased, injuries healed, those pesky eyelids growing back. You'll be rejoined with your body, and will be well and truly alive once more. Taking those few moments of time to think about the worst thing that had happened to you had earned you an entire life.

I'm sure you're waiting to hear the bad thing that'll happen. Maybe your body will rot as though it were still dead, or you have to stay alive forever, as the universe is destroyed and you float through nothingness all alone. Well I'm proud to alleviate those fears, saying that no, nothing bad will happen to you! You'll live until you die again, and when that happens you'll enter into Heaven once more, this time permanently. The only difference being that this time when you die, the memory of that terrible thing to happen to you, that memory you used during the ritual, it will be gone. You'll have forgotten it, which comes as a relief to many.

Of course the question now is: what happened to that memory? Well, that's the business of the demon you sold it to. Perhaps he'll use it to torture others with horrific nightmares, or study it to learn new nuances of fear he can use, or any number of demonic things that you can do with such a memory. I've heard that he's attempting to build a weapon with these, something he can use against mankind, something that could kill them all. Of course, these are just rumors, and what are the chances your memory will be the one to bring about the fall of mankind? So go ahead, try this simple demonic ritual.