How did things come to this?

I don't understand how someone who has been so involved and such an important person in your life can just walk away. She was my closest friend. We spent nearly everyday together. We shared almost everything. We would have done almost anything for each other. Many times we had just dropped what we were doing to help the other. We were like family. I saw her as a sister as well as a friend.

I loved her the good and the bad. I trusted her. We have been through so much. So many memories that I can't just forget about. Births, deaths, church, birthday parties, caring for each other through sickness, trips to the hospital, trips to the beach, trips down south to meet up with my mom. Listening to each other vent or cry. Singing together in the car. Feeling young and carefree. Not always agreeing with the other but never giving up on them. Believing in each other... sharing our inner most thoughts...

This pain that I feel is so bad. I miss her. I don't know how she could throw me away like I was nothing. Its like she turned off her emotions... but how or why? I have so many questions and no real answers. People disagree all the time but work it out. I wish so bad the pain would stop. She watched me come to her crying from depression from our fall out.. she was completely emotionless... it still haunts me...

How did it come to this? She threatened my family. Why? Because my son made her angry? My son was out of line. But when I read what she had wrote I was wasn't to happy either. She was referring to me in a public post saying I was leading her sister down the road in which she just came from. Was I? No I wasn't. It was cruel and hurtful. My son being my son saw it and got upset. I wish he would have stayed out of it.

She started getting mad at me for things other people were saying. I can't control what my husband says. He saw that I was always giving her sister rides and was complaining why wasn't she doing it. I didn't really mind. She had just had a baby and money was tight I saw it as a chance to help them both.

Lack of communication can lead to some awful pain and hurt. I would never intentionally hurt her. Nor would I had chose someone over her. I just don't understand have things came to this...

I miss her. I miss her kids. I know what's done is done. You can't change the past. And things would never be the same again. What I can do now is never get that close or trust someone like that again. Lesson learned. But I am still haunted by the empty feelings inside and all the how and why's?

Why do I care so much? This heart that God gave me can sometimes be my biggest weakness and downfall. Toughen up woman move on with your life. Shit happens. But I didn't choose this. She did. But why? Anger, hurt and depression is what she left me with... I see her so differently now.. was she always like this? Was I really that blind? Was your friendship even real? I just don't understand how things came to this..