Rewrite the past

Chapter 16

"Remus? Can I come in?"
Her voice was quiet, oh so quiet.
She could not really remember a time where she had been speaking in such a delicate voice to anyone but in this case she really needed to.

Instead of answering, he just nodded and so she set foot into the room. She closed the door and silently cast a charm that would warn her should anyone try to come in. Any disturbance could be a possible threat to the mission she had set for herself that evening.

Lightly, she walked over to him and sat down like him, facing him only partly.

"Remus, listen. I-"

"If you have come to me to talk about how reckless it was to catch a cold - you don't have to. Madam Pomfrey made herself quite clear before she released me." He sounded defeated and very sad. Hermione had never thought that he might have been this troubled his entire life. She only then started to understand why he had always been kind of reclusive and discreet about his whole life. This had not only started when James had died. No, this boy's troubles were the reason for his adult self's ailments.

"No, Remus, I am not here because of that," answered Hermione, looking at him before silence fell over them.

They both just sat there, neither saying a word, but both gazing out the window into the night sky.

"I could watch the nightsky for hours. It calms me down. I always feel safe while gazing up at the moon and the stars. Maybe, because the moon brings light to the earth when the sun cannot. Maybe, because I feel like my parents look down on me from somewhere, watching over me," whispered Hermione into the silence.

She saw Remus' head turn towards her out of the corner of her eye and she could feel his gaze on her and so she started to tell him about her childhood.

"I grew up living with my grandparents. My parents died when I was about two and a half years old. Then, my grandpa died when I was 5 and so my grandmother is the last one I have. I miss them so much and at night I feel like they are here with me. I often cannot find sleep. It gets worse the fuller the moon gets and the brighter it shines."

"They are there with you. They never left you, you just got to believe in them," answered the young boy sitting to her left before everything fell silent again.

"Listen, I know that you were not in the infirmary only because you caught a major cold. It was my grandma and I who found you out in the forest by the small lake. We brought you to the hospital wing when it was nearly too late for you. The low temperature in the  forest and your extensive bloodloss were about to get the better of you.
Why didn't you tell anyone? I mean, literally anyone. Just one person knowing beforehand would have been enough," said Hermione, turning to face him while looking worried and sad.

"Why didn't I tell anyone what? I have no idea what you are talking about, Mia," answered Remus, not turning to look at her and she could understand that well.

"You don't have to pretend anything, Remus. Not to me. I know that you have been bitten and I just want you to know that it does not change anything for me."

"I do not pretend anything. I honestly have no idea what you are going on about although I really appreciate that."

Just as she was about to retort, a quiet alarm went off, signaling that someone was walking up the stairs to this room.

Hermione looked at him with sadness in her eyes before leaving him sitting on the windowsill to run up another flight of stairs to not be seen or else people could start to get suspicious. She would just have to confront him again another time. But now it was time for her to go to bed herself and get a good night's rest.

******

The next day came soon and only a few hours later Hermione found herself sitting in the Great Hall again for breakfast together with her friends. Only Remus was missing.

They all started to eat, not waiting for him because lessons would start soon. When he finally entered the hall he looked at his usual spot but then sat down somewhere in the middle of the long table, confusing everyone.

"Hey, why didn't he come to sit with us, his spot is clearly empty?" inquired Maggie quite confused.

While Severus and Florence just shrugged, Hermione answered: "I believe that is because of me. I talked to him, yesterday, about how reckless it was to go wandering to the forest, especially at night time. He didn't really appreciate that, I fear."

"To the forest? He was in the forest and came back with that major cold he had?" Asked Florence in utter disbelief.

Hermione, only then realizing her mistake, had to come up with an excuse.

"At least that's what I know. My grandma didn't tell me much but she said that they found him near the edge of the forest. That's really all that she wanted to tell me. I suspect that he has been out and fell asleep in the afternoon. Then, upon waking up, it was night time and he did not find the way back up to the castle. He didn't have his wand with him. That's my theory, at least, and he did not really deny that yesterday."

Following breakfast, Remus practically fled every room that Hermione was in and so, when the week came to an end, Hermione had still not managed to catch him and talk to him.

Friday night she then decided to take different measures in order to talk some sense into him.

She took out a fresh page of parchment and took her quill out to scribble a note.

Come meet me Saturday evening right after dinner in the library. It is urgent!

She did not sign it, fearing that he would not come should she.

With a quick tap with her wand the note was gone and reappeared on Remus' bedside table right next to his wand so that he would definitely read it in the morning.

That business finished, Hermione packed everything away and went to bed herself.