Guilty Thoughts

CHAPTER 2

Nyla P.O.V
Waking up the next day. I waited for the alarm to go off. Yes I have an alarm on the weekends. Only because I don't want Benji to mess up his sleep schedule.
The alarm finally hit 8:30 am so I rolled out of bed and limped to the bathroom that is in the hall of my 2 bedroom townhouse. I decided to get a townhouse because it was only me and Benji plus it was closer to campus and my parents house.
After doing my thing in the bathroom. I walked to Benjamin's room. Cracking open the door I seen him sleeping on the floor.
I'm really about to throw this damn room away. Why buy the shit to put in it, and he don't even use it. Benji rather sleep on the floor, under the bed, even in the damn hall before he sleeps in the bed.
At this point I just let him be. I stepped over him and started to open the curtains and turn on some Christmas tune cause it's almost that season.
"Mommy please, just leave"
"Boy get up and I'm not playing. Go get ready"
"Where to?"
"Somewhere, Now get up"
He stretch his body and did one of them seizure shakes. Getting up he went to brush his teeth and take  a quick bath. Today we are going to my mona and papa house. I miss them to bunches.
I went to go get Benji's outfit. Getting him dress.

After getting Benji dress I put him down in my room to watch some paw patrol. Walking in my closet I began to look for some clothes. I have so many I don't know what to choose from.
After putting my clothes on. I started to pack Benji's travel bag. Which contains his iPad, the charger, a blanket, extra set of clothes, and my wallet and phone charger.
Grabbing the bag I locked the door and set the Security code. Putting Benji in his car seat I bucked him up and started to drive to the family house.
My parents do these little get together every once in a while. I don't even know why they invited me. Matter of fact I'm really being forced to go. They know I don't like people and most of them people don't like me.
It suppose to be my Mona and papa, my sisters and their husbands, my aunties, which I hate so damn much, and my uncle. Only because they believe I was being to fast and had Benji at a young age. Which is non of their damn concern. I don't know about my cousins if they coming or not.
Arriving at the house I can already see hell of cars out side.
Sitting in the car a little bit more won't hurt.
I didn't even get a chance to lean my chair back when I heard a knock on my door.
I looked up out of fear and annoyance to see Rachel and that big ass dog again.
I'm really sick and tired of this mutt following this damn girl everywhere. If she go shit he right there looking. She go to hell he going just to watch her burn. I don't understand.
I rolled down my window.
"Mona said get the hell out this car before she have to drag you by your front teeth" she said.
I just looked at her. I'm not believing anything she said. Because Mona loves me more she even told me that personal.
"Who all in there"
"Bitchhh let me tell you. Aunt Veronica, alletta, Carl, and malinda. And you know malinda brung her bad ass kids, Veronica brought her 6th husband and Carl brought her nasty ass Mac and cheese."
She explained to me. I really truly hate all of them. They are so ghetto. And it's not cute. I hope malinda don't think her germy ass sons going to touch my damn child.
"IM NOT DONE. Uncle Detroit here, and uncle Anthony as well and you know they bought us gifts. Oh and Antonio bought 2 of his friends."
"Shit uncle Detroit ahh let me out I miss his bold ass"
I said getting out and getting a sleeping Benjamin out. Slamming my doors I walk up the pathway to the 2 story house my parents built when I was younger.
I did a little knock and I walked in. I hear most of the party in the back so I tried to make my way upstairs.
"Where do you think you are going"
Turning around I seen my uncle Detroit looking at me with a smile on his face. I jogged as best as I can as I was trying not to wake Benji to give him a hug.
" I miss you uncle you never come visit me"
"I miss you tuda. And me girl you the one that's always going off the grid."
Laughing I moved Benji to the other side of my shoulder. Wanting to wake his ass up so bad.
"Aww let me see him. He got so big. Can I have him?"
He asked. While grabbing him a little bit.
"Yea please you know my child is my life. Maybe the only thing that keeps me going"
"I know tuda come on let's see you momma I know she going to be g he happy to see the both of y'all"
I nodded. We walked to the kitchen where everyone and their pet Dinos are at. Walking in everyone stop talking. I hate when they do this every family get together the act like I'm a damn germ. Not only that they try to talk about me behind my back.
I just rolled my eyes and walked behind my Mona. She was pulling something out of the oven.
"Who ever is behind me get the hell out of my kitchen"
"Mona is that how you treat your favorite"
She turned around so quick she damn near dropped the bake macaroni. I damn near dropped Benji because that one dish is very important.
"Ahhh nuna my baby I miss you so much."
She said giving me kisses on the face all over. Benji begun to move. I rolled my eyes only because he finna do his seizure shake and my momma gonna think he slow or something.
"Child what the hell he doing. Help him"
She yelled getting everyone's attention. I just look at her.
"He does this every time he wakes up. He just stretching mona"
I whispered while looking down. I hate attention and they already think I can't take care of my child.
"Mommy can I get down"
Benji asked rubbing his eyes.
Nodding I put him down. I bend down to fix his shoes. And to whisper in his ear.
"Go play with uncle Detroit don't go near them other kids ok"
With a simple nod I walked him to the walkway of the living room and kitchen where uncle Detroit was.
I walked back in and sat at the bar table. I minding my damn business. I don't even like these get togethers only because my aunties think I'm a unfit mother and whore. I only really like my immediate family and my uncles. I hate the little kids too.
"Nunu why you just sitting here get up talk to people"
Looking up it was Antonio.
"You know I don't do these things"
"Yea but I want you to meet my friends"
"Well Have you ever thought I don't want to meet your friends"I asked
They always tryna to set me up with people after I told them multiple times my son is my main priority.
"Yes you did but today you don't have a choice". He said.
He grabbed my off the bar table and dragged me to the back patio. One I don't want to be out here. Two I started to not like Antonio bald ass.
He walked be to the picnic table my parents had in the middle of the yard. So we eating out side like animals?
What shocked me was who was sitting at the picnic table.
"Nunu this is my boys/ brothers Greg and Tommy. And this little cutie is esmé"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gregory P.O.V
I was at one of Antonio's family get togethers and I'm ready to go home. One some old looking lady try to get with me. Two the food is not done and I arrived 1 hour and 30 minutes after the time on the invite. Three I had esmé and not only that I didn't want her to play with the other bad ass kids because my child is not bad and she is only 3 they going to hurt her.
Antonio left to go get someone to introduce us.
"What if he brings back a bad bitch"
"Stop cussing my child is right here"
I said while mushing his head.
"Uncle tomtom said bad word?"
Esmé asked looking up at me.

"Yes bad word"
She looked at him and shook her head.
Antonio can back with that girl that came to the shop. My heart skipped a beat.
She was beautiful as I remembered.

"Nunu this is my boy/ brothers Greg and Tommy. And this little cutie is Esmé"
"I know who they are"
She said Trying to get out of Antonio's hold. I wanted to push the hell out of him cause he was holding her to hard.
"And let me the fuck go damn"
She said in between her teeth. Tommy buss out laughing.
"Would you stay if I let you go?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No, not really"
She snatched her hand and sat down next to me and Esmé.
Esmé did this thing were she would look around and slyly look at the person she wants to talk to.
"Hiey" Esmé yelled at Nunu.
Nunu snapped her head up.
"Hi cutie. What's your name"
"Esmé. But please call me mé"
She said in her baby voice. I smiled. Esmé is my world. Ever sense I found her on my door step with only her birth certificate I changed just for her.
As Nunu and Esmé started a whole conversation I turned to Tommy.
"I never seen Esmé just free willingly talk to anyone"
"Yea me neither"
Daughter like father"
"What you mean?"I said scrunching up my face.
"You talked to her in full sentences and she talk to her with out a stank face"
I didn't have a chance to reply because we got called in for food. What Tommy said could be true.
I finally found an interest in someone?