suicidal. [book four; c.h.]

three; small talk

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my hands shake as I try to get the razor out of the bag. before I can even put it on my arm, I feel my wrist being held by the boy. he always gets in the way of everything.

 

“what do you think you’re doing?” he asks and I almost want to slap him for being so stupid.

 

“what does it look like?”

 

out of nowhere, he takes the razor from my hand, lifts it up, and throws it into the trees.

 

“what the fuck did you do that for?” I stand up to try and get to eye level but he’s too tall. despite that, I glare at him the best I can.

 

“I think we both know what you were going to do with that.”

 

“yeah, no shit.” I finally pull my wrist from his grasp. it hurts from him pushing down on my cuts. I rub the skin and try not to look pathetic.

 

“so I was stopping you because it’s bad.” the boy says stupidly. “and I care about you.”

 

“you don’t even know my name,” I argue.

 

“Alexis,”

 

“well...I don’t know your name.” my voice seems quiet. I’ve given up on sounding tough. he knows who I am. how does he know who I am?

 

“I’m Calum,” he tells me and I try to remember his name. I’ve given up on trying to remember names since I’ve given up on making friends, so it’s harder to remember them when I should.

 

I nod and it’s silent for a few seconds as I stare into the trees.

 

“c’mere,” Calum says before leading me back to the swings. I follow, waiting to see what was going to happen. he sits in the swing next to my swing, letting me have the swing after all. “tell me about yourself?”

 

I let my feet dangle off the swing while I think. “my name is Alexis, I’m 16, my family sucks-”

 

“I hate small talk,” Calum says, cutting me off. “tell me about how lonely you are or why you keep waking up in the morning. tell me why you hate your family or why you lack so many friends. I don’t care about the simple things that everyone else knows about you.”

his response surprised me, to say the least. no one’s asked me about these kinds of things. who is this guy? why does he care when no one else does?

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