Bigger Boys & Stolen Sweethearts - Alex Turner

11. Mardy Bum

There was rain. And thunder. And lightning somewhere in the distance. It was freezing cold and the two of us just sat inside the car realising how utterly and completely fucked we were.

Basically, we decided to go for a long drive towards Birmingham for not other reason than that Arabella felt like it. It was a two hour drive. We got there easy, fucked around for a bit, got some ice cream from this gelato place that almost kicked us out due to Arabella's behaviour, and eventually decided to head back home. It was about three when we decided to head back. We were cutting it close but luckily, it was now Friday and Arabella promised me both her parents were going to be home late because they had a dinner for her Dad's work. That gave us to about eight latest.

It was currently six thirty and we were stuck on the side of the freeway as it bucketed in rain. The car fucking broke down. Fuel was full, I filled it up but the engine decided to fuck itself and breakdown.

It was this awful string of events, leading up to the car breaking. First there was this loud noise and then the car jolted like I went over a speed bump.

"You're kidding me," Arabella said as the car began slowing down.

"Shit," I swore to myself and turned the wheel as hard as I could so that car would slowly swerve off into the emergency lane and off the actual freeway before we came to a full stop.

"Alexander you're fucking kidding me," Arabella said as the car rolled to a stop and just fucking died. I wanted to kill myself.

"Fuck me," I said under my breath and hit my hand on the steering wheel. To be fair, the car had had a good run. We'd driven at least an hour out of town every day and it hadn't once faltered. I pushed it too far that time. It was honestly a miracle that it had taken this long to break down because it usually broke down every time it left the house like clockwork.

Arabella started laughing to herself as I sat there and realised how fucked we were. If we weren't home before our parents were and my dad saw the car missing we were done for. I didn't even want to think about what was going to happen once I finally got home.

  I looked over at Arabella, horrified as to why the fuck she was laughing in a situation like this. She saw my face and started laughing even more.

  "We are so fucked," she laughed.

  "How are you laughing?" I asked.

  "Because I laugh when shit like this happens," she said and shook her head, "well it was fun while it lasted."

  "My dad's going to kill me," I said to myself. My hands still on the wheel. I was just sitting there thinking oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.

  "Alex," Arabella said, rolling her eyes and I felt her put her hand on my arm. I looked over at her. "Calm down."

  "I don't think you understand how much my parents are going to flip out," I said.

  "Just call roadside assistance or summat," she shrugged.

  "I don't have the number," I said.

  She rolled her eyes, "fine I'll search it up for you." As she typed away on her phone, I got out of the car to inspect if there was any external damage. I lifted up the hood of the car and just saw smoke. It looked just like it did every time it broke down. Swearing to myself I closed the hood and sat on it, my head in my hands. I really was absolutely fucked. Birmingham? Really? Fucking Birmingham you had to go all the way to Birmingham?

  "Hey," I heard Arabella say and looked up from my hands over at her. She sat next to me on the hood of my car. "They're not gonna kill you," she said in a soothing voice.