Dear, Me

Letter to My Past-Self

Dear me, 

Long-time, no see. It definitely has been a pretty long time since I was you. Now looking back, I do wish I could've sent a letter to you from the future. I wish my current self could've guided you through middle school and through the immature drama that got you down to the point where you reached a pretty deep low. I wish I could've been able to tell you that the boy you thought you were in love with isn't the one and that you will have plenty of other options and the opportunity to find the one for you. I wish I could've been able to tell you that what those girls have to say about you will no longer bother you a year later. I wish I could've been able to tell you that math class will not make or break you so that you would no longer be an anxious mess going to class. I also wish I could've told you that your foundation did not match your neck and you didn't have to try so hard because you're naturally beautiful inside and out. Maybe if you knew these things, you wouldn't have been so stressed. If you knew you'd meet so many other friends that would replace the fake ones you've had, then maybe you wouldn't have been so fearful of being alone. Maybe you wouldn't have looked for companionship in places you shouldn't have been looking in. I just want you to know that even though in 2019, we still struggle with anxiety and bad days, we have definitely learned lots and grew into a very strong young woman. Little things do not bother us as much anymore and we have developed many talents. We write better, we paint pretty well, and we have a growing interest in the skincare industry. We've developed so much potential. Maybe if you knew all of this would happen, you wouldn't have turned to the blade to distract yourself from life. I wish you knew that now we use writing and painting to get distracted. Yes, we may sometimes consider using the blade every now and then, but we have improved so much and I am so proud of that. I just wish you knew how much we would grow and how much shit we would successfully get through together. Regardless, I'm proud of us and I know it'll just get better and better.  

Love,

You