Pockets

It's eight o' clock on a Friday. I'm at a friend's house, playing board games. Nathan returns from upstairs. Suddenly, as he's walking over to the table, something amazing happens. He puts his hand in the pocket of his jeans... and it goes all the way in. I am shocked.

You may be wondering why I was so excited about Nathan putting his hand in his pocket. See, I was also wearing jeans that night. Not just any jeans, but my favorite jeans. They were comfortable and loose-fitting, and they even had pockets! Many of my other jeans had fake front pockets- not these! But when I put my hand in my pocket, it fit up to the knuckles, at most. I had fought for these tiny pockets, and here was Nathan, walking around with his whole-hand pockets like it was nothing. I was miffed, to say the least.

A month later, I walked into a specialty jeans store and asked the clerks to help me find jeans that could fit my whole hand in the pocket. They looked at each other, uncertain. Silence hung in the air. Finally, one of them spoke. "Maybe... the boys' section?"

The kind salespeople helped me find jeans that met my standards: loose-fitting, comfortable, and deep-pocketed. They were absolutely perfect for me. So... why did I have to buy them from the boys' department?

I used to think that the difference between boys' and girls' clothes was like the difference between a large and a small: similar product, made to fit different people. Now I know there's more to it than that. The difference is the assumptions that go into every stitch, hem, and seam. The designer of my shallow-pocket jeans assumed that I care about fashion, not function. That I don't need real pockets, or worse, that I don't even want them, because obviously, women are giggly airheads and if they really want something with them they'll carry a purse.

Anyway.

That wasn't the only time I had to buy boys' clothes. A few years back, I went to a department store, looking for t-shirts. I looked through shelf after shelf: solid colors, glittery inspirational quotes, the occasional dog picture. Nothing caught my eye. Finally, having lost all hope, I went to the boys' section. I was immediately greeted by a plethora of wonderful shirts: Rubik's cubes, the periodic table, Star Wars.

Once again, the assumptions were painfully obvious. The math and science shirts are for boys, and the shirts that say "dream" in a swirly font are for girls. Because obviously, girls are incapable of having actual interests; they just need encouragement from some nice sparkly platitudes.

Jeans with real pockets are possible. They're standard-issue for boys. There's no reason women shouldn't have them as an option. So, next time you're shopping, ask for a pair of girls' jeans with pockets that can fit your whole hand. Watch the salespeople squirm. Watch them search the shelves in vain. Watch with pride, because your request is reasonable and they know it. And, when you finally get some perfect-pocket pants, enjoy the smug satisfaction of having phone-sized pockets while you smash the patriarchy.