𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙇𝙀𝙎 𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙂𝙄𝙉𝙀𝙎

not a second time | john ☆

era: 1957
name: francie

"shh!!" i hushed the panting, grinning, happy boy, john lennon, who was clambering into my bedroom through the window. "you'll wake my parents!"

it was valentine's day, and my loving boyfriend, john, couldn't visit me until late. "oh hush, france. i brought you chocolates and flowers!" he mumbled into my lips as he kissed me. i smiled, taking the flowers from his grip. "your favourite, red roses." along with flowers, he brought me chocolates! john climbed over my desk onto my bed.

"i got you something, too," i put the flowers on my desk, tossing the chocolates back to him. i opened my laden desk drawer, rummaging through the rubbish that littered the insides. it was supposed to be a surprise. i grabbed his present, hiding it behind my back.

"what is it?" he hopped off the bed, reaching around my waist, attempting to obtain the gift early. i tried to keep it from him, but he was much stronger than i. he grabbed my wrists together and wriggled it out of my grip. i snickered, latching onto the small gift. "give it!"

"it's a surprise!" i wailed into john's face, but he managed to pry it from my restless grip.

he giggled strangely femininely. "oh, i know! is it... a pretty new dress?" the box which held his gift obviously didn't hold a dress. he was just being silly. in a good mood, this was what he was like with me; goofy, cheerful, always trying to make me laugh. in one of his bad moods, however...

"open it!" the box was only about the size of his fist. i excitedly anticipated his reaction as he opened it. it was a guitar pick i made with our initials on it. since john seemed to be so passionate for the guitar so much, i made him something. that would both remind him of me and aid him!

he slowly sat on the bed, beaming after he studied it for a few moments. "did you make this?" he asked, carefully taking it out of it's box, examining it more closely. i nodded eagerly. "it's... it's..." he uttered. i then knew he liked it. maybe even loved it. i was still scared he thought it was stupid at first. it must've been good if john lennon himself, the man who always had something to say was speechless.

"you like it?" i fiddled with my fingernails, awaiting his answer. after a while of silence, john faced me with a look of both happiness and pride.

"i love it, france," he carefully put it back in the box before leaning forward and hugging me tightly. "i... i'm sorry i couldn't get you much this year..." he muttered.

i shook my head. "no, don't worry about it, john," i put my hand over his. he uttered something i couldn't understand, looking insecure."john, you just being here right now... that's enough for me," i reassured him. he gazed at me intently, and i knew just what was racing through his mind.

"oh? there's no other gift john lennon could give to you?" he smugly raised a brow. i chuckled at his subtle suggestion, shaking my head while watching his hands. they traced my hands, veins and nails. they led up to my arm, to my shoulder, to my collarbones peeking out of my dress.

"john, my parents are home," i gulped quietly while he got closer to me. "they-"

john heard me. i knew he did. but he continued. "and? i can be quiet. or loud if you want, birdie," he hinted. i sighed.

i wanted to, but i knew the consequences if i did and we were caught. we'd done it before at his house when his mimi wasn't home. it was great every time, but tonight was different. my parents and siblings were home. if i was caught, it would be the punishment of the century. my family didn't even want me seeing john anyways. i couldn't imagine what would happen if they found out i was going steady with him. or worse, shagging him!

"how about we just cuddle tonight?" i indicated.

by now, john was below me, looking up at me. his face fell. "cuddle?" his brows furrowed. "y'know, i've always thought of myself to be... a quick, steady man," he glanced me up and down with desire. i breathed out heavily. here he went again with his 'getting me to have sex with him talk'.

"and... you think i look lovely tonight and want me more than anything?" i fell back onto the bed, hands on my chest. john fell back with me, sneaking a hand onto mine. "i've heard it all, john."

he put his chin on my shoulder, giving me the eyes. they always made me feel horrible. he purposely made them water for the effect. he wasn't pleased when it didn't work. in the slightest. "okay, fine. cuddling it is." he cuddled up to me, snuggling into my shoulder. "you don't mind me coming here every weekend, do you?"

"of course not, john. i love you! i don't know what i'd do without you," i thought we would last forever. john and i. "why?"

he sighed against me. "oh, it's just that sometimes i worry. about me. annoying you." it sounded silly coming from john. i was always worried i annoyed him! he was always so cool. so effortlessly cool and relaxed, yet hyper and popular.

"you don't annoy me," i assured him, scratching the back of his head. "if you did, i'd tell you."

he smiled. "oh, i know." he rubbed my ribcage, arms strung around my waist. "you're always so supportive of me. and the fellas, too. and nice. you're so nice to me. even when i don't deserve it. i don't deserve you. even when i'm being a fool, you stay. you've never left. why?"

just hearing john ask why i never left him made me feel awful. for him and what he was put through as a child. since his father left him at such a young age, i'm sure he had abandonment issues. "well, because i love you and you love me. that makes a happy couple, right?"

"i guess so," he sniffed. "i'm just glad you haven't gotten tired of me yet. the day you leave me... christ, i don't know. i'd die! you won't ever leave me, will you? even if we get fat, old and bald together? you'll still love me?"

"john, i'd love you if you hadn't any teeth," he looked up at me and smiled toothily. "honest."

"well, in that case, i'd love you if you... if you were a leper," he rested his head back on my chest, presumably listening to my heartbeat. "i can't believe i got so lucky. francine jones likes me! that's what i say to myself every time i feel down. i remember you. things aren't so bad... now that you're around."

"not bad, huh?" we looked each other in the eye, and for the shortest second, john looked so vulnerable and
small, i thought i might burst. the john i loved, knew, was humble. sometimes shy in front of me. he cared so deeply about what i had to say about him and his opinions. everyone else could sod off. on the outside, he was hard. or at least, that's what he put out. he acted like he hadn't a care in the world, but in reality it was quite the opposite. "you're not too bad, yourself," i leered.

"give us a kiss, miss jones," he murmured, staring unencumbered at my lips. i gave into his benevolence and charm, leaning in for a kiss. he slid his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me harder into the kiss. we pulled away, but not without one final peck of contentment. "you sure are perty, little bird." i chuckled while leaning back onto the pillow beneath us.

i closed my eyes. "don't ever change, john,"