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"class, we have a new student."
[ dont look at me like that...please.]
before daylight, before the blue sky and wavering clouds, my breath hitched when i first saw you step into the classroom.
"hi, my names jimin," you smiled so, so warmly. somehow, it felt sickening. whatever spell you casted, everyone fell for it the moment they laid eyes on you. i could hear my classmates whisper, their heartbeats, even saw how faint red burned their ears.
thinking back at it, maybe even i fell for it.
[ stop pretending to look so lonely. ]
when you saw me, my eyes wide and bright as i stared at you, you waved.
"ah, its you!" you exclaimed, and immediately, i cowered. shit. there came the whispers.
[ you make it impossible for me to leave. ]
long after the bell rang, you still followed me no matter where i tried to go.
you whined when i ignored you, and appeared before my face no matter how badly i tried to avoid you.
"just stop!" i explode when we're out of a sight. the garden supply shed—my secret hideout. it didn't feel so secretive anymore when you were there.
i would learn sooner than later that i couldn't keep any more of them from you. secrets, i mean.
"you can't just keep following me, okay? and when you yelled my name out like that in front of everyone...." i clenched my skirt. "do you know how humiliating it was...?"
silence for a minute, then, "how?"
"what?"
"how was it humiliating?"
anger bloomed on my cheeks. "people don't like me okay?! and—and when people like you, pay attention to people like...like me... it'll just cause me trouble. they'll..they'll hurt me again..."
the cicadas sung outside.
"they hurt you?"
"...look, i'm going," i try to reach for the door but you grabbed my wrist. i wince in pain when you squeezed me tightly.
"don't worry, i can do that too. i'll hurt them too, i'll protect you." despite the chill your cold words left on my back, i couldn't help but feel flustered.
how idiotic i was when i didn't realize you meant it literally. back then i was just looking for hope...for someone to save me. you were death masqueraded by hope.
i glance away. "l-look, i'm fine now, okay? we need to get to class." you didn't let go.
"jimin, please let go."
you chuckled. "that's the first time you said my name." even more, my face becomes as warm as the sun.
"go on a date with me today."
"what?"
"say yes, and i'll let you go."
"w-what?!" i was starting to get annoyed. "you can't just decide that for yourself! i have to tutor and—!" the bell rings. shit. you smile coyly.
"fine. whatever," i grumbled. you loosen your grip and i push you off angrily, though hopelessly so, as you only let out a laugh in response.
i knew you were smiling brightly even as we walked to class—too brightly, but i never stopped to look back at you.
[ how stupid i was...to ever think you actually let go of me that time.]
