Moving Forward

Blame (40)

The route was uphill - confusing and twisting in a way that threatened Max's sense of direction. But he knew where he was going. Back to the place Gillespie had held him.

A growl crawled up his throat as he remembered the time he'd spent there. The weeks away from Kyle. The helplessness and the waiting.

Hate. There was no other word for what Max felt going back to the clearing, to the cave.

Lara cried out as she tripped on an exposed tree root, and annoyance flared in Max. She was slowing them down. A glance back showed Carter pulling her to her feet.

When they broke through the trees into the clearing, Max felt as if their journey had taken hours, but knew it hadn't been more than one.

Keeping an eye out, Max stalked to the cave. Tension bristled his fur as he ignored the flashes of memory that this place conjured; the anger, Gillespie's gloating, the dead werewolf. Regardless of how hard he tried to push the thoughts aside, the merry-go-round of memory wouldn't shut up - loud and insistent.

It stopped as Max's stomach dropped. They weren't there. The cave was empty. As silly as it might have been, he'd hoped that Blake and team Panther and Amelia and Finn would be there. Incapacitated somehow and unable to come back on their own. As horrible as the idea was, at least then he could make a plan. Without knowing where they were, Max was useless.

Carter grimaced when Max looked back at him. "It's alright, Max," he said, though the frustration was obvious in his voice. "We'll find them, we'll figure it out."

As much as Max wanted to believe in the optimism, he also knew that Carter was feeling much the same way he was. As a new Alpha, Carter was supposed to be stalwart - a steady presence ready with a plan. But he was new to the responsibility. Hadn't been raised or prepared for it like Kyle had. Sure, he was more level headed than Kyle, and Max couldn't deny that Carter was a more appropriate choice for Alpha. Max just wished that it wasn't left to the two of them - a jaguar shifter better at following orders than deciding on the right course, and an unproven Alpha younger than him. Sure, they had Lara, but they couldn't trust her, nor was she entirely sane.

Sick of Carter's face - though it wasn't Carter's fault in any way - Max glanced at Lara, who he could put some of the blame on. And stopped. On her face was a sort of awe. Such wonder and bliss and yet her eyes glistened as if bordering on tears. She looked like she'd just been visited by an angel.

"Lara?" Carter asked gently on seeing her expression.

She swallowed, working her mouth for a moment before managing any sound. "It's just... so beautiful..."

Without any further explanation, Lara took off running.

"Where are you going?" Carter shouted.

"The light! I have to follow the light!" The reverent tone in her voice was worrying, but there was nothing else for it.

Max loped after her, Carter running beside him as they caught up to Lara and kept pace. Her gate was frantic, running on a path that seemed random. As Lara led them on the route only she could see, they went in circles. More than once, she'd slowed down, doubled back, and then took off one more, pushing past branches that blocked her way. Max had to wonder if she even knew where she was putting her feet down. Then she fell.

None of them had seen the drop beyond the bushes. Lara had pushed through them and disappeared from sight with a scream.

Max rushed to the edge, trying to see where she'd gone, but in the thick trees and undergrowth, there was no sign of her. Then she let out a sharp cry. It sounded painful, on the verge of a sob. Max leapt off the edge, navigating through the trees to avoid any pitfalls, and found Lara at the foot of the hill, cradling an arm. Tears streamed down her cheeks, cuts evident on her face. There were twigs and leaves sticking out of her wild hair, and Max had no doubt she had some bruising, but she looked... peaceful.

On seeing him, Lara sighed. "The lake."

The lake. They were at the lake. The glare of the light reflecting off the water had him in turmoil. This was the last place he'd spent time with Lara - when he still thought of her as a friend. Where she'd betrayed his trust. Even with all the anger and sadness roiling through him, he could still remember the dream he'd had lying on the grass in front of the lake. The placid water coming to life with the rain.

When Carter reached them, Lara pointed. "You have to go into the lake."

"What?"

"That's where the light was leading." Smiling, she met their eyes. "Only one of you."

With snarl, Max turned.

It had to be Max. If something happened to Carter, the pack would be lost. Max was a marine - he was expendable. Besides, with Kyle dead, Max wanted to do everything he could trying to get their family back because...

Because it was Max's fault that Kyle was dead. It might not have been Max's knife, or his plan, but it was his fault, wasn't it? Max had been there. Had been able to move.

"Max!" Carter shouted, and Max knew he was trying to stop him.

But this was Max's responsibility. He'd made a promise to protect Kyle and he'd failed. Failed. In the worst way possible.

Max'd had the power to stop Lara from killing Kyle, but hadn't because he was too busy wallowing in his head, in his memories. And, if Max was honest with himself, he'd never believed Lara could actually kill Kyle. Inconvenience, hurt... even possibly maim, but not kill. Because then Lara truly had never been their friend.

Glancing back, Carter was on his heels, and Lara had a giddy expression on her face, like a child watching candy floss being made. That wasn't Lara anymore, but she was. Why had she even befriended Max in the first place? She couldn't have known that he would end up being Kyle's mate. Max turned his thoughts away from the subject. It didn't matter why she'd first approached Max - the end result was the same.

It was her fault Kyle was dead, but Max shared just as much of the blame. So now, he was going to make sure nobody else died because of his inaction. 

Max took a deep breath, and dived in.