Three is a Lonely Number

The Ugly Truth

Present Time

A robot in a butler outfit wheeled into the Perfection Office, where the three brothers were adjusting their suit jackets and adjusting their ties.

“The new line of dolls has arrived,” it told them.

“Perfect,” Leroy said, dusting off his jacket.

“Have they starting asking about us?” Luca asked, placing his lint roller on the desk.

“Kitty, Lydia and Tuesday are informing them of you right now.”

Lou tucked his mirror away in his pocket and clapped his hands together. “Welp, that’s our cue, boys.”

The brothers got in a line as the robot moved to open the side door. There was cheering and shouting from all the dolls in the Institute center. The brothers gave a silent laugh at Tuesday’s “I love you, Lou!”. 

The music started. It was showtime.

“We know you hope to go to the big you-know-where,” Leroy began, before moving to the left.

“And you’re here to try and earn your ticket there,” Luca continued, sliding to the right.

“Better listen now, or you haven’t got a prayer,” Lou finished, stepping forward.

“Let’s break this down. Ooh!”

The brothers descended the stairs, pulling poses as they did so. Lou shot a few finger guns at his female fans while Luca blew a kiss at a nearby male doll. They made their way down the runway before stopping in the middle. 

“If you want someone to love ya,” Lou sang, “babe, you gotta look like me.”

“Gotta be flawless, pure perfection, not for shelf,” Leroy added.

Luca moonwalked down the catwalk.

“And our first impressions of ya, as far as we can see,” he sang, “is that you simply can’t compete with our sweet selves.”

The three jumped down from the stage, merging in with the other dolls.

“Is your hair as thick as mine?” Leroy combed his cowlick back, only for it to spring back up.

“Are your glutes as tight as mine?” Luca popped his hips towards the crowd.

“Are the moves you got as drop-dead hot as this?” Lou danced around some of the dolls.

“Is your profile half this fine?” Leroy sized up a nearby female doll. Luca leaned against his brother.

“If not, let us hit ya with the bottom line.” Both pointed to Lou, who was back on stage, looking into his mirror.

“You’ve got to measure up, or you won’t get eternal bliss,” he said, smirking down at them.

Leroy popped in on the right. “So let us be honest.”

Luca slid in from the left. “We’ve got to be honest.”

Lou rested his arms on their shoulders. “We’re gonna be honest.”

They all jumped down from the stage. “Whether you like it or not!”

Leroy pointed to a male doll named Clark. “You’re much too short.”

Luca dismissively waved his hand at a female doll named Miranda. “You’re way too thin.”

Lou wrinkled his nose at a doll named Paige. “Is that a blemish on your double chin?”