Happy Birthday Red

Happy birthday Red, 2

Happy birthday red !
joannasteez

Hobs and Shaw was a success, a huge success. After his press tour he vowed that he'd be home for at least 2 months, he just had one last engagement in Seattle at the end of the week. He'd been away filming, traveling and working and I couldn't be there every step of the way. After all, I had my own life, wants, needs, and desires. I moved back into my medium sized LA home after he finished filming in Hawaii . I felt like moving in permanently was a big scary step. Of course I spent almost everyday at his house but for now I needed my own space. I traveled for work occasionally as well. That's where trust came in. Trust, was a big thing that makes or breaks a relationship. Being that he was in fact a celebrity and would now move into acting, he was becoming huge, John Cena/ The Rock huge. No pun intended.

I found myself having to get used to the lack of privacy. Since committing to him, I had to get used to the fan base that was always growing. Insecurities became harder to hide on both sides. I could scroll through Instagram and see videos of him meeting hysterical fans and taking pictures with the most beautiful exotic women. Trust....went both ways. I saw women shoot their shot at him. In theory we both had it rough when it came to opportunities to go outside of the relationship but we stayed committed. After months of dating, we fell into a bit of a pattern. It wasn't particularly a boring pattern but we shared a familiarity between us that many couples do. I knew all his ticks and quirks, he knew my flaws. We were starting to finally know and understand one another fully. For some couples, that familiarity was when the "spark" died but our adoration for each other was strong enough to keep us going. We were in love but not saying it confidently at least.

The " L.O.V.E " word was still a touchy subject for us. We'd been together for 2 years. We were still learning each other and our schedules didn't make it easier. I was a Hollywood screen writer/ filmmaker which meant sleepless nights and long hours trying to make everything perfect. As time went on we made more time for each other which really put a magnifying glass on who the other person was. When he'd tell me he loved me it was only during sex, and when I told him I loved him it was only when I was half asleep. We never had he guts to say it to each other in our right minds and actually WAIT for the other persons reaction. It was like we threw the L word around and hid our hands. My fear of love was mostly due to my childhood trauma and disappointment while his was his fear of commitment or committing to the wrong person. He'd had his fair share of toxic relationships that turned him off from commitment for a long while. If you didn't know him well you'd think he was without a care in a world. That wasn't true.

With that being said, I was happy that we even made it this far. He got back in town from Lanai, doing the final scenes for a Native Hawaiian film. Not only that, he was doing so many other side hustles like filming for other upcoming projects, battles, sponsorships, press tours and interviews. He couldn't catch a break...I COULDNT CATCH A BREAK. I was working on writing the script for a film that I wanted to get on it's feet soon and I had a deadline. I also was finally nominated for my first academy award which shook me to my core. I needed inspiration and with him not around it made my imagination fall flat at times. Thankfully he'd be taking a small break before he started bulking for a surprise appearance in a Huge movie that would be released next year. He was booked to film for the next two years with so many remakes and action movies under his belt. It seemed his body couldn't catch a break either. The back and forth flights had him sick as a dog. He was usually good at hiding when he was wounded but a FaceTime call showed him with a puffy nose, red eyes and a horse voice. I ordered him home immediately and good thing he had a break because I would have gone to Hawaii and snatch him up myself.

My doorbell rang in the middle of me making his favorite meal as a welcome back gift.  I paused what I was doing and ran to the door, squealing when I opened it up. He shot me that adorable smile and picked me up like I weighed absolutely nothing, swinging me around. I planted my lips on him after months of not seeing him for longer than a day.