Why am im like this!? I should be happy!? Then why do i feel like I'm dying?.... Why do i feel like the world around me is crumbling and that I'm dissapointing every one?.... Why does it feel like everyone is leaving me as im trying to fix everything?... Why does the darkness consume my thoughts when it's bright outside?..... Why do i smile when i want to cry?.... my mask is cracking each day.... i can't fix it.... it hurts.... so much.... but I know my friends are going through worse.... so why am I crying?... WHY THE FUCK AM I IN TEARS AND THINKING OF HURTING MYSELF WHEN OTHERS ARE IN WORSE CONDITIONS!?!?! I SHOULD BE HAPPY! NOT CRYING MY EYES OUT!!!.... why am I so fucking weak.... why!?.... why does everything I do lead to worse things..... it doesn't make sense.... I shouldn't be in pain... my mask shouldn't be breaking so easily.... I shouldn't be snapping so easily.... this isn't right.... i.... I want to feel something else.... something else besides the pain in my chest.... maybe I'll cut?.... can't.... they'd kill me or worse..... he'd be dissapointed.... hide it.... ok.... I will.... until I snap again.... this never ending fight will continue....
