The God (One Shot)
erinedipity
When I was a kid I used to mock my mother while she was praying at the altar. She clutched her rosary like her life depended on it while muttering words of adoration I never in my life received from her. It confused me as a child to hear her say pleasant things to a stone carved and painted to resemble a man but when she sees me, she scowls and kicks me just because I was standing in the corner. She punished me for breathing. Then my father will arrive from work which I supposed included liquor and cigarette and add the excruciating pain already inflicted upon me by my own mother. He will begin his daily routine by making me his punching bag and then whip me with his black leather belt. They made a good team in a game called ‘Tormenting Little Wesley’. When they finally felt the satisfaction of abusing me they will go straight to their room and throw hateful words at each other. Sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes in the living room. Anywhere whenever they feel like it. My childhood was a complete mess I always revisit before I close my eyes to sleep.
Today, mother will be surely proud of me because I finally reached heaven. Perhaps she would like to offer a prayer to me considering that in this room, I am the God. In this four-cornered container with two windows facing each other, I am the ruler. I am standing on a platform looking down at people holding a glass of alcoholic beverage. I’ve known them since I was in high school. The women whom I used to beg to go out with me on a date can’t stop looking at me with admiration and a hint of lust. Ah, mostly lust. The men who used to break my nose with their knuckles and put down my pants in front of everybody for their own sick amusement look at me like I invented them. I smiled and gave them the permission to continue the party. Funny how I hold control of everything I gaze upon in this room. It’s not strange though because I know I am born to command.
I opened my eyes and laughed at myself. I put down the fourth box of mixed tablets of cocaine and ecstasy I emptied this day. Today’s adventure is quite satisfying although I prefer if mother and father showed there, clapped at me and kissed my feet. Still, I won’t consider myself unhappy. I stared at the box lying at my side. This box is what I consider my teleportation box and the drugs it contains are the fuel to make the teleportation happen. You see, I transfer the tablets in my stomach through my mouth and it transports me to places I’ve never been to but wanted to visit, as if I am exploring different parts of heaven.
I reached for the table beside my bed and took the fifth box I’m planning to take again. I opened it and let the tablets fall down in my throat. I leaned on my bed, closed my eyes and waited.
I felt a small pair of lips having its way down my torso. I lifted my head and found her kissing me. Our eyes met and she smiled. She crawled to me and kissed me on the lips. She keeps on whispering how much she loves me. How much she needs me. How fucked up her life if I’m not in it. Look how the tables have finally turned. I remembered the day she broke up with me because my life is a mess and said she deserves something more. She can’t just say she wants another man between her thighs. But look at her now, clinging to me like I’m the edge of a fucking cliff and she’s afraid to fall. I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. I want this heaven. I want this heaven where I still have her. I want her forever pressed against my chest. I want her forever making love to me. I want her. Out of all the parts of heaven I visited, this is my favorite. This is where I want to stay. I heard her whisper ‘I love you’ once again. I smiled and closed my eyes to savor the feeling. When I opened them I can’t feel the heat of her body. I can't hear her breathe. I lost her and I knew I was back. It’s a small trip. I was floating with her when suddenly I fell and the worst part is not the falling but the fact that she’s not with me. I felt so Satan cast out from heaven.
I reached for another box and prayed to myself to see her again.
fin.
