Burn Burn [Daryl Dixon]

Going to Hell [Chapter 10]

Not only was the drive to the funeral a tight squeeze, it was also painfully silent and awkward. With the recent close encounter with Merle, Alice felt as though she should avoid eye contact with him. Daryl sat leaned against the window in the front seat, nibbling at his fingernails to the stubs. Alice was in the back, and she sat with her head drooped down, and her eyes shut. Once this was over, she could pull herself together. Still she was suffering from the withdrawals, having been used to at least two doses a day, down to one small one each night before bed.

The cocaine in the drawer had been gone when she opened it. Half of her had been thankful, the other devastated. If she was going to get through the funeral, she would have to have something to distract her, but she was completely sober, and it didn’t suit her well. She could feel the heavy bags under her eyes that she could barely conceal with makeup. A coldness settled in her bones, and she was shaking almost violently when they arrived at the cemetery. A few people were walking along the damp grass; though the sun was out, the large trees covered the lush grass from its warmth, and it left the grass dewy.

In her heels, Alice climbed out of the truck and walked alongside Daryl and Merle. To no surprise, they were late to the ceremony, and Alice felt incredibly awkward and uncomfortable being there. As they neared the scene, a closed casket funeral, she could hear the priest speaking, his voice low and strong. He was reading straight from the book in his hand, some passage that was supposed to make everyone believe scum like Johnny would make it to a metaphorical heaven.

Alice knew better.

The priest looked up and met with Alice’s eyes when he saw the trio coming his direction. His dark brown eyebrows furrowed in discontent, and his words slowed until they completely halted. A few other funeral goers turned to look, shuffling their feet to turn and look at them. Merle and Daryl walked up to the group, blending in to some of the others who had dressed as if it were a casual day. Alice stopped and looked around at all the familiar faces. Johnny’s parents had been dead for a few years, and they had cut off all contact with him before Alice even knew him. His aunt and uncle who lived in town were there, glaring at Alice, as if she was the cause of Johnny’s questionable and delinquent ways.

Some people began to mutter and cast their eyes in a different direction, but the priest held eye contact with Alice. She recognized him from the times she used to go to church. Though it had been against her will, her parents insisted that she go, as if hearing the priest drone on about ridiculous fairy tales would make her believe. He was bald, the priest, and slightly heavy in the stomach area, his shirt buttons threatening to pop near his belly button.

“You should not be here.” He stated, raising his fat finger to point at her.

Alice looked hard into his eyes; she was often submissive to people, but she couldn’t back down against a man who believed in follies and foolish notions like God. Instead, she narrowed her own eyes and raised her lip in an animal-like grimace. She wanted to say so many things against him, to back herself and justify why she was there, but she felt a hand on her shoulder to stop her; Daryl.

Instead, she kept her words tame, but her tone sharp. “I may not be any better than him,” she gestured towards the closed casket. “But I ain’t any worse. If you are here to bless him, send him away to your false heaven, then we can all be sure we will all make it to heaven.”

The priest seemed disgruntled, but had obviously had experience in non-believers. “John McKenzie knew God was in his heart, he may not have lived the life God wanted, but-“

“God works in mysterious ways.” Alice finished for him, “Then tell me, was it God or Satan who killed him? Burned his house down with his dead body inside? Was that what your God intended?”

“That is enough.” He cleared his throat, “This is a funeral, not a debate.”

“So get on with it.” She grimaced, leaning on her left leg more so than her right.

The priest cleared his throat again and picked up where he left off, though people continued to mutter and speak about Alice. She couldn’t hear their words, but she knew what they were saying. She was going to hell. She was ungrateful, and should be on her knees in tears for losing someone like Johnny. See, Johnny had a perfect game face when he was out in public. Only close friends and family knew about his addiction, but the public saw him as the local singer and guitar player who drank a little too much on occasion. They overlooked his addiction because he offered something to them, but Alice was just a burden to them.

She got in the way of the women he brought home, though she learned quickly to pretend like they never existed. Now everyone at the funeral was acting as if she didn’t exist, and that she was never a part of Johnny. Panic hit Alice then. Every thought possible flew through her mind; did she make the wrong choice burning the house? Perhaps it people had found him dead from heroin it would have made things different for her. Her vision blurred and she wavered slightly, but a steady hand held her shoulder tightly, whilst another snuck behind and held her back, making it seem as though she was fine.

Alice knew that person was Daryl; protecting her when he had no reason to. She was fucking his brother, sleeping on their couch, taking up space, and burdening their lives. And yet he held her steady in many ways. Even with his touch, Alice knew she couldn’t be around anymore, and turned on her heels, walking back towards the truck. Daryl watched her go, and she felt a handful of eyes on her, thankful she was out of the presence at last. When Alice swept passed the truck, Daryl took off after her, knowing she was completely unstable. 

So, obviously I will not be ending this story at chapter ten! I am currently writing chapter 12 and do not see an end anytime soon. This story is growing remarkably faster than I thought it would, and I really hope to keep daily posts! I am very happy with the comments that I have been receiving! I'm going to ask for three comments and five votes before I post again! :)