I thought they had all been taken from me, until you left
my body, when I stopped breathing
for you. Pain carved me hollow as it bore you into my arms,
your skin wet on my chest and your eyes unknowing
as stones held my last innocence under still waters:
I let it drown for the love of you, and I weep after it
like a child again, unseen and silent.
Loss to the light is crueller than the blows that broke my mind,
heavier than the heavy blankets that suffocated my heart
under the darknesses of childhood. I thought I knew death
and its pull. How it lured me with the promise of grey:
cold and spiritless, and pure. I held you, my brightness,
as the sky echoed more than empty and fell
starless; surrounding your milky glow
there is a cave beyond shadows, waiting to take you
from me, to take you and forget you when I am gone.
Pulse of my heart, you will not cry as I bleed life onto the floor
of our home and no one sees the stain.
Child of my abandon, you are the apple tree
who would grow from the wastes of my youth.
Pearl of my flesh, you left me raw.
I would cling to you through the night to press the wound,
when I should be lifting you up into the blue morning, smiling
with the sun's glare behind you.
~~for Luca.
