rivals in the sheets

chapter seven

During practice, Ethan couldn't concentrate on what really mattered.

His mind was running around in circles about things that he shouldn't have been that upset about but even though he tried to push the thoughts away, they persisted.

He thought long and hard about what Joshua said to him.

But what Joshua didn't understand was that when he was still friends with Lucas, things were the same.

Even back then, people always picked Lucas over him and although he wanted to think that it didn't leave any lasting impact on him, he knew it did.

That wasn't Hamilton's fault, but Ethan couldn't help but blame him for all those things. Sure, he wasn't the one responsible, but he sure helped it happen and even encouraged it.

Throughout the years, Ethan's dislike for Lucas intensified, mostly due to the fact that their friendship ended so suddenly.

One moment they were friends, hanging out together all the time and unable to separate, and the next they didn't talk to each other at all.

And there was never a proper explanation provided, which hurt both of them but neither of them would want to admit something like that.

The lingering feeling that he wasn't good enough was impossible to get rid of, and it was made even worse by the fact that he couldn't concentrate and his throws were shit.

"Dude, get your act together," muttered Fraser when another ball slipped through Ethan's hands and landed on the freshly cut grass.

Emmerson picked up the ball and threw it back, putting more effort in than before but still not good as the usual.

He needed to get his act together, that was true, but Fraser didn't need to tell him that. He already knew that very well.

"Don't tell me what to do."

Fraser chuckled and passed the ball back. "I'm not telling you what to do, I'm giving advice. Coach has been glaring at you for the past half an hour and it'd be better for you to just be normal."

Ethan rolled his eyes but he knew that Fraser was right.

Coach, and pretty much everyone else on the team, was getting fed up with him not being able to play normally whenever he got upset.

He needed to start separating sports and personal feelings, but so far he had no idea how and nobody to teach him how to do it.

He passed the ball back, missing Fraser by what seemed like a mile. His aim was messed up and the sad part was that he didn't even care.

"You don't know what people are dealing with, okay?"

Fraser snorted but there was an understanding expression on his face. "Everyone goes through hard times, Emmerson, people just make sure not to bring their problems on the field. It's their duty and their freedom to do so. You don't have to worry about anything other than playing well when you're here."

It was good advice. No, it was excellent advice, and Ethan would be lying if he said that he wasn't surprised by Fraser's ability to give advice.

"Great pep talk," he laughed and caught the ball again, this time a bit better than before.

Still, his aim was still deficient when he passed the ball back and suddenly Fraser's expression changed and Ethan understood that something was wrong.

"Emmerson, what are you doing?" shouted the coach and stormed to him.

He stood next to Ethan, a football in his hands.

Even though Ethan towered over him, the coach's mental presence took up more space on the field and he was more than frightening in those circumstances.

"Your mind is on an entirely different planet and what you need to do is bring it back here. Right here to this court and concentrate on the game."

Ethan looked down at his feet, unsure of what to say.

Sure, coach didn't understand all of his problems but he was also very right. And like Fraser said, it was Ethan's duty to not bring his problems onto the field.

If he continued to do so, his gameplay would continue to deteriorate and his teammates wouldn't be able to ignore it any longer.

And he really didn't want to get kicked off the team or even land back on the bench. He fought too hard to get where he was just to land back there once again.

Ethan was supposed to be one of the best — if not the best — players on the team, the one to get them places and so he couldn't behave this way during practice.

"During the last few matches you've been a little off your game and I want you to change that. I put all my trust into you making you quarterback and getting you off the bench when you were still a sophomore."

"I know coach, thank you for that," he said and he really meant it but was scared that it wasn't coming off that way.

During previous years, Coach was always more than nice to him.

In some ways, Coach was almost like a father figure to him when he was on the field or in the locker room.

And it felt even worse to know that he was disappointing the one who trusted him so much.

"Some parents complained to me and told me I was mad because you obviously weren't experienced. But for the last year and a half you've been proving yourself as an important asset of this team and I can't have you change that now."

Ethan nodded while taking deep breaths.

"This is your senior year and it's be a shame to have to put you back on the bench and replace you with someone just because you can't get your priorities straight."

Again, Ethan nodded and quickly said some apology and how he'd do better in the future, even though he knew that most probably it would be impossible to turn everything around in that little time.

But the task didn't really sound complicated.

He just had to get his mind off Hamilton and concentrate.

Easy, right?