KAY

Chapter 2

Moving to a new place to start life on my own was pretty overwhelming

        No friends......no family...

I felt a bit lonely but what the hell!!!!

     It is what I always wanted

To run away. To move to a place where no one knew who I was and start life afresh. It was looked refreshing in my head.

         Everybody working at the radio station seemed weird and not my kind of people.

Sitting on my chair, watching all those uniformed people work in and out was tiring.

    Why did I decide I wanted to work for the army?

I can't say. I always hated them for no reason. I guess I wanted a reason to hate them. This is the third month since I started working for them and I was moved from the publishing room at the headquarters to come to radio.

   I chose it actually. Men started bullying the pretty girl that they couldn't have and you know how the soldiers get but if you don't know. Please ask.

   Apparently, I shared my sit with one of them. She was so annoying and for some reason, she just really hated me.

          Each time she was at the office, she used the armchair that was behind the computer and made me find a rubber chair to use. 

    Even if she wasn't using it; I wasn't allowed to.

Every day, I felt anxious not having anyone to gist with or say hello to.

                        My excitement was channeled to waiting.....

I waited....and I waited

   Counting the seconds...the minutes...the hours...

But he never showed up

    Was he not a staff?

I wondered!!!

       My heart was broken

It felt empty like a dream had been taken away from me.

          I would have asked questions but the truth is I wasn't really ready to start acting friendly with anybody just because I wanted to get information on him

    I liked being the calm nobody

Worked for me started at 10 AM and ended by 4 PM

           The ride from work to the house lasted 15 minutes or less depending on how low or high the traffic was. If I got in any or decide to take a motorbike.

      I was assigned to write scripts for the shows that go on air.

               I am only in the office three times a week. I spent the beginning on my weekends (Thursday) parting every day with my only friend Ella, who managed a club.

      I had Jeff call every day. Jeff was the one guy in my life who wanted to get married to me but as usual; I'm never serious with things like that. He had a good life; he was once married but separated, searching for something new, big house with pretty puppies: to me, he just seemed like a desperate loner who wanted to spend his life with someone but the truth is I wasn't ready for that.

         We had okay sex. We spent good quality time together but not without equal fights. I just wanted to have a stable boyfriend friend before thinking marriage but he just didn't get that.

This is a month since we started talking, he has started been so judgemental and it's irritating. We are having time off each other for the fifth in a month and as usual, he calls 10 to 20 times a day and I ignore.

              I wondered if Juilet, my roommate was cool with me coming late and disturbing her sleep often. Truth, I was having fun and couldn't be burdened with how she felt.

   Work:

Writin.....writng and writing. I got so good that when asked and I said I had no experience working for radio; people thought I was lying.

     I had worked for two media houses for IT but not radio and it was different here.

I guess my driving force has just always been passion.

   I'm just that kind of girl who just never said never

   Or thought anything was impossible especially with the internet.

 Even worse; I don't know how to stop or let go of something that I want even when it is obvious that I can't have it. 

      Between my melanin brown skin, dark eyes and brown hair mixed with black; I have no reason not to call myself pretty.

     The truth is in as much as I heard it every day. I looked into the mirror most times, took a deep breath and searched my soul for what it is that people saw.

    I walked every day listening to it. Doing things that showed that I was confident that I was but I wanted more. 

    I sucked at love. Not my fault, if you had gone through everything I have, you would feel the same about it like I did

       Those that I liked; never liked me back and even those who finally do, always made it difficult till it ended and leave me shattered.

    Those who liked me....I don't or I struggle to give my attention until I finally give up and opted out.

  Could the baggage be mine or theirs?

I can never really really know....or can I?

    Two weeks had passed 

I had given up on my feelings for the man of my dreams

              Coming down from the bike that dropped me that morning in front of the entrance to the office, I walked up the driveway that Monday morning and saw a black Mercedez Benz parked. It looked familiar but I couldn't wrap my hands around it.

    I smiled as I greeted everyone I walked past that morning. As I got to the entrance of the programs department, I felt a warm breeze as we walked shoulder past each other. Phone on his ear as he looked slick in a white-collar shirt, black trousers, and a black shoe.

  I finally remember!!!!

The car key hung on the belt hole of his trouser. I saw it that day but didn't pay attention and now I saw it again...clearer.

       He had a benz....a sports car!!! someone, please call me 911.

I froze and turned towards the entrance. He went out to answer his phone. He seems like he was arguing with the person on the other side of the phone.

He looked even better when he is angry. Breeze seemed to be blowing his shirt over. He has an iPhone too. He looked so cooperate and official. Does he really work here?

        What is his name? How old is he?

You know what I don't care!!!!

All I can hear in my head right now is...

      "Don't let me go. Hold me in your beating heart. I won't let go. Forever is not enough. Let me lay my head down on the shadows by your side. Don't let me go, please. Hold me in your fucking beating heart."

    He looks like a playboy but I could feel myself. I had fallen, fallen so deep without even speaking to the beautiful stranger.

       My heart wouldn't listen. It just keeps racing.