Just One Kiss

Chapter 5

The next day, I laid on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts after having written in my journal a few moments earlier. For some reason, I was thinking about what it meant to have a crush on someone.

It would be interesting to know who came up with the word 'crush' as it feels like such a juvenile word. I guess that it must have been invented by someone who wished to demean the idea of young love.

When my brother had teased me about having a crush on Zayn all those years ago, I had not really liked the word. I knew that what I felt was more than that: I loved him.

Zayn was the one.

As much as I tried to deny it, I knew it to be true, for he was the only person that I ever saw myself being with. Zayn was my everything, and I think in some strange way he always had been.

"I can't believe I almost kissed him," I said out loud to myself while fisting my bed sheets.

To think, all it would take for everything to change between myself and Zayn would be just one kiss. Who knew that something so simple could turn our world upside down? Be it for better or worse, if we did kiss, our relationship as we knew it would never be the same again.

My entire world had changed three years ago when my feelings for Zayn evolved.

After all, they say that you never forget your first love.

It was obvious that if we had kissed last night, it would not have been one of our typical sibling-like kisses. From the way he was touching and looking at me, I got the feeling that it would have definitely been a kiss between lovers and not just friends.

Or at least that is what I chose to believe.

Today a group of us were planning on going to get some shopping done for our upcoming trip to Monaco.

Since we turned thirteen, we usually invited a few close friends to come with us each summer. We would take a flight on my parents' private plane, then stay on a large yacht belonging to Zayn's parents for about two weeks and sail about the Mediterranean until the end of July.

From Monaco, the three of us would then visit our grandparents. Since we were basically raised like siblings, we would go to Qatar with Zayn, then he would come with us back to Paris.

On August 15th, we would celebrate our birthdays, then begin preparations to head back out for the new school term. Seeing as we all attended the same private Catholic school that our mothers Mikayla and Hannah had gone to, we would need to sort out uniforms, as well as a few other things, and relax a bit before heading back out to the new semester.

To be honest, I was nervous for this summer.

Especially after what had taken place last night, I had no idea what was going to happen. A part of me just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide, as I knew he would want to talk about what had happened.

That was how we were; anytime we had any sort of misunderstanding or just had something on our minds, we would share it with each other.

Although, I was breaking that routine by not confessing my feelings for him.

As I continued to lay on my bed, mulling over my thoughts, the sound of my phone went off.

I rolled my eyes and giggled as I read a message from Jessica.

Jessica:
"Sooooo...
What happened when you guys got home? Did you get stuffed last night? How did his meat and two veg taste? 🤤"