Bungou stray dogs {Literature}

one

Akutagawa  was self conscious.

He never knew his own worth, hell, he didn't even think he had an ounce of worth.

Always in a constant battle of doing what he thought was right or what "Dazai-san says is right."

Dazai was his role-model.

But with the depressing and dull, emotionless moments Dazai had in the mafia, he took them out on Akutagwa.

That's one of many things Chuuya didn't agree with.

Dazai was his partner, sure, but that didn't mean they saw eye-to-eye.

In fact, they almost never did.

With their constant bickering.

"Chibiko!"

And actual fighting.

Physical fighting.

Violence so horrible, that a normal human would have died, a very miserable death.

But Chuuya fought.

He fought until he ran out of breath,

he screamed until his voice gave out,

and damnit he tried.

He tried so incredibly hard to show Dazai that what he was doing was wrong.

"He's your subordinate!! Not a toy!" Chuuya growled, grabbing Dazai by his collar. All he got were those stone-cold eyes. Piercing through him with such judgement it sent shivers throughout his body. The unpleasant kind that made you feel alone and helpless.

"Mine." Dazai repeated, lowly.

"What?" Chuuya cautioned, staring for any emotion in the dark brown pools of tar that seeped through his skin, and into his system like a terrifying disease.

"MINE!" Dazai shouted, slamming him against a wall.

"Mine. Mine! MINE!!" he had chanted over and over.

"My subordinate," Dazai slammed his fist into Chuuya's stomach, shoving him into the wall, "my pathetic lower class!" another crack in the cement was made, but with Chuuya's head.

"And nobody... NOBODY tells me different." Dazai snarled. Chuuya could've swore he saw tears slipping out of his now honey coloured eyes. The light reflected off the true emotions in his eyes.

Fear, pain, and neglect.

It was all Dazai knew.

All he could teach.

But there was no changing Dazai's mind.

His beautifully broken mind.

And with it, his many facade's.

For no-one truly saw Dazai Osamu.

He was a man of many faces.

All of which hide the one he's too afraid to show.

The one that beat Chuuya to a pulp, the one that tossed his subordinate around like a rag-doll, the man who knew not of love, but loneliness.

Because loneliness is always there to swallow you whole, when love is too far away to caress you.

Loneliness will always find you before love will.

And Dazai didn't mind that.

In truth, he lived by that.

What was lonely, love couldn't touch.

And what love couldn't touch, it couldn't break...