Nathaniel Leyva (8)

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Morning came and he was gone but his scent still lingered. The warmth on his side of the bed was still there along with the outline of his body on the bed where he once slept.

I couldn't help but smile because maybe he was still there, in spirit. However, I knew that was just crazy talk to ease my mind. Deep down, I was crushed. I didn't even want to leave the bed because one step off it and he would've been completely gone.

But always alive in my memory, I told myself. That was what got me to finally roll out of bed. (I was so dramatic.) I stretched my body and then turned to the sunlight that was coming through to bask in it for a bit to wake me. I was grateful for Ignacio pulling the curtains aside before he left.

Speaking of Ignacio, I noticed that at the end of the bed, more towards his side, there was his pajamas pants folded up with a piece of paper on top. Without much thought, I walked over to it and picked up the paper to unfold it.

It was a note.

It said, "Hey, sorry for leaving and not spending the morning with you. I kind of have somewhere to be so please don't think that we were a one night stand because we are not. Well...not to me anyway. If it was to you then I hope I was a good one night but if I wasn't just that then I hope you would give me a call or text. Preferably call because I like the way you speak to me."

After he wrote that, he wrote his number and I made sure to save it in my phone.

"Also, P.S. batman is the shit and I left you my pajama pants so you wouldn't forget. Weird thing to leave behind, I know but wash it and keep them for me for whenever I spend the night with you again...Love, Ignacio."

How sweet? I thought. How sweet of him to leave me a note and save me from my thoughts? How sweet of him to leave a piece of him behind? How sweet of him to have faith in us even though we just met? (I thought.)

And how cruel of me for not having any faith at all.

If roles were reversed, I would've just left...without a trace. It was pointless. There was going to be no more eating cake together, no more laughing, no more people-watching, no more hugging and kissing, no more sex, no more Ignacio and overall there was going to be no more us.

That last part really didn't hit me until I closed the door to my hotel room and left everything behind. That was the last time I was going to see him so that was where we would forever stay...in that room. Just a memory that would soon be a distant memory.

Like a scar.

It might've hurt at first but as time progressed, you would just kind of forget about it until you see it again.

I was never going to see that room again, I didn't want to. I didn't want to see that hotel again. I even refused to look at it when I got into the taxi. I was afraid that I might've cried.

~x~

"I can't believe that I'm leaving so soon."

"What was that?" Angelica asked as she handed me the rest of my belongings (my backpack and my headphones.)

"I said, I can't believe that I'm leaving so soon."

She sighed as she plopped down on the neatly prepared guest bed. "I know. I wish you could stay longer. Could you please?"

I shook my head. "You know I can't. I have to be home for the holidays and then it's back to work."

"I know. I know but when will you move out here? I told you that I could get you a job and you can stay with me until you get your own place and stuff."

I pulled the handle up on my suitcase. "That sounds like a hassle. Besides, I'm comfortable where I am. I wish you'd just move back with me."

"I left because I didn't feel like I was meant to be there."

"Then you understand why moving would be hard for me."

She looked away from me with a frown. "I guess."

"We should get going. My flight should be coming shortly. I would like to say goodbye to Lucas. That is if you don't mind. Where is he?"

Angelica took her stand and grabbed her keys from the nightstand. "He's helping his best friend Ignacio get ready for Christmas."

"I see."

Just the sound of his name made me sad.

"What's the matter?"

I forced a smile. "Nothing. Could you grab my other bag for me, please? It's in the corner."

"Sure."

Without any more words, we brought my things out to her car and placed them neatly in the trunk. Afterward, we quickly ran inside the car to heat up and shout random things as we rubbed our hands together.

Christmas songs were played and we sang along and danced a little too. I was doing a good job of not thinking about Ignacio but I knew that once the car stopped and my door unlocked that that was the only thing I was going to think of.

I was quiet for a moment. I just sat in the passenger seat and stared out the window. "I felt like I didn't tell you this yet but-" I turned to her with tears in my eyes. "I am so happy for you and Lucas. I am so happy that you're married and that you are happy with him. I am happy that you found the one even if you did it without me. I love you, Angelica."

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I love you too, Ambrose. Just you wait, love will find you. Or maybe you will find love. Your person will come to you and I want to be the first one to hear about it. I will be the loudest one at your wedding because out of everyone I know, you deserve love. You will make a great boyfriend and an amazing husband one day. You never changed your character even after you've been heartbroken by assholes. You still choose to be the loving and caring person I've always known you to be so please don't feel like you're unworthy of love because I know that's how you feel."

I wiped my eyes. "Some people are meant to be alone and I think that I'm one of them but thank you. Thank you for having hope for me when I have already lost it."

She gave me a closed smile and then pulled me into a hug. "I promise to never forget about you. I know you might think things will change now that I'm married but just know you will always be my best friend."

I pulled out of the hug just to look at her and smile because she meant a lot to me and so did her words.

It didn't take long for me to gather my things and head inside the airport. However, it did take a while before I was able to board my flight.

Me being dramatic, I told myself that that was it and that it was time for me to just move on with life and to pretend that my few moments with Ignacio did not matter. I was accepting the fact that I was never going to see him again and if I did then he was already going to be married to someone else.

However, when I got onto the plane his face was the first face I seen. It had turned out that I wasn't the only one who visited their best friend for the wedding.

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