Speaking In Silence [Book 2]

4

During my period of bliss, something seemed to have snapped inside of me, and now that I was no longer feeling that way, I wasn't feeling  anything. There was no anger or loss anymore. Sleeping seemed to be all the more inviting and I stayed in bed for weeks.

There was a knock on the door to the flat that I wasn't expecting. I quite literally dragged myself from my place and sluggishly walked to tend to the visitor.

When I opened the door, I found Todd, Killian's old boss. He seemed exhausted, with dark under eyes and poor posture.

"What do you want?" My natural tone tried to be mean but I was too tired, so it sounded weak.

"I just wanted to check up on you... after everything"

"I'm fine" I went to close the door but he caught it with his hand.
I sighed and motioned for him to come in, telling him to excuse the mess.
We sat on the couch, I watched him look around in disappointment at the dim living space. I hadn't cleaned in a while, or even turned on the lights.

"Blai--"

"Why are you here now and not six months ago?"
Todd was definitely on edge, but I didn't care.

"I didn't know how much time to give you. The two of you were so close" I was silent, staring at the wall across from me, "did you know her? The girl?"

"She was my best friend" 

Not once did either of us mention Killian's name. It was like an unspoken rule, and maybe if someone said it, it would makes everything even darker than before.

"I'm sorry"

"There's nothing you can do about it " I said quietly, desperation coating my words. I wanted someone to bring him back. Just for a moment, a kiss.

"I want to help you, Blaine"

"Just go away, you don't need to be here" I knew he was trying to be nice, but the longer he stayed, the more annoyed I got.

"I do though. Look around, you're falling apart, kid"

-

Todd was right and no matter how hard I tried to push him away, he came back. I felt bad while I moped around when he took care of things.
He got rid of the beer bottles and whiskey  glasses that littered the apartment. He thought if my space was clean then my mind was clean.
I guess things got a little better with him around but not much. Days went by slower and were spent more or less sleeping or going to classes. Most of my professors gave me extended deadlines to keep me from failing. I think Todd felt responsible for me in some way, kind of like he was pretending to be my dad. He made sure I did assignments, ate food, and just generally took care of myself.

I felt extremely guilty for him taking care of me, like I owed him something. I told him to stop, but he forced me to get better, stopping by everyday after work. His plan worked for a while, and then the drinking started again. I hid it from him at first. On the outside I truly was getting better but I was still sick on the inside.

-

Since I'd started talking to my friends again, they'd been inviting me to parties which I avoided. But now, I was ready to go to one.
This particular party was thrown by a friend of mine named Brandon. He always had a big one for his birthday at a frat house sponsored by his dad's corporation.

"Hey Marston! Long time no see buddy" Brandon gave me an awkward side hug and then left to mingle before I could respond. I wasn't too upset about it, I kind of forgot how to talk to people since I'd been gone for a while.
I made my way to the open bar, and settled on a stool with a glass of Stagg in hand. I looked around to find familiar faces, only to find one that was already coming over.

"What are you doing here, Seth?" My grip tightened on the glass.

"I was invited by a friend" he gestured to Brandon, who waved back at us.

"Damn" I turned back to face the bar, and he sat next to me, ordering a water.

"You know, I really don't like how we left things last time" I knew what he was suggesting and I didn't want to give up the opportunity for easy sex. I finished the rest of my drink and turned to face the smirking boy next to me.

"There's a room in the basement that no one ever uses" my tone was harsher than I bargained for. But he nodded, and I led him down to the room.

I quite literally threw Seth against the wall, then kissed him aggressively. I felt his body twitch underneath my own, which was pressed against him. I moved my hands up his sides, sliding his shirt off, and stepped back to take my own off. I moved back in, and forced his hands above his head. He wasn't making a single movement that I didn't let him make.

This time was different than the last. He was hesitant to obey my grip. Last time must have set him off. His hesitance only made me more aggressive.

After a moment, I grabbed his hips and pushed him to the bed, where he lay face up. I bit at his neck while working at his dick with my palm. Eventually, I slid his pants off along with his boxers, flipping him over and undoing my own. Soon enough, I was inside of him, gripping at his hips more and more until it was over. When it was, I got dressed and left, leaving him lying naked on the bed. I didn't even feel bad about it either.

The rest of the people at the party were drunk enough to not notice that I just fucked Seth in the basement. The music was loud and the alcohol was strong.
I returned to the bar and ordered another bourbon. However, I hadn't even finished the second before things got wobbly. I walked up the stairs to find a bathroom, only to catch a glimpse of that brunette hair I knew so well walking around a corner. It couldn't have been him, I knew that, but it sure as hell looked like it was. So, I chased after him, but no one was there at the end of the hall. I blinked a few times and shook my head, finding the bathroom.