Deck The Halls With Brand New Stories: Ho Ho Holiday Anthology

The Christmas Unicorn

This story was contributed by KateLorraine

A couple of years ago, when FAO Schwartz in Midtown closed, I found a giant stuffed unicorn sitting out on the curb on my way to school. I called an Uber and dragged it home. I planned to give it to my cousin for Christmas, but little did I know, the unicorn would become a fixture of my holiday party.

I guess you could say I was a little like a unicorn. Uniquely me with a little dash of Danish, a little bit of Chinese, and a touch of Puerto Rico - but I looked like a giant hunk of James Dean.

I threw up my Christmas lights and made some mocktails (Sprite, cranberry juice, and a slice of lime). After a little bit of decorating, I thought my small room on the Upper East Side, which overlooked a run-down beer garden, looked more spiced up than the Plaza Hotel.

It was senior year, and my parents were taking me out of town that weekend, so I went all out.

My boyfriend Noah showed up around 3 pm, took one look at the unicorn, and told me it was too much. "People are going to think you're a serial killer," he told me. "Look at those creepy eyes."

Yeah, it was true, the unicorn had eyes with giant fake eyelashes embroidered into it. It didn't even have glass eyes, which would have helped it look more cute. Instead, it had two embroidered slits that made it look like it was either smiling too wide or dreaming of murdering you.

"I like it; people think I'm a serial killer anyway. At least now they'll know I'm a serial killer who likes guys."

"Oh, stop it, Joey," Noah said and planted a kiss on my cheek. "You're perfect, exactly the way you are."

"I know I am," I said and straightened my china-red sequined vest. That's the shade that perfectly matches my Louboutin sneaker bottoms, right?

Noah was the hottest jock of all of Piotr High School, and he was all mine. That was until he went to use the restroom, and I heard his cell phone buzzing from his Manhattan Portage backpack. I tried to ignore it, but it kept beeping. My parent's apartment wasn't that big; space was expensive in this part of town, and everywhere I went, I could hear it continue to ping.

I figured it wouldn't hurt to acknowledge the message. As I took the cellphone out of Noah's backpack, I noticed it wasn't a text message. It was a seat confirmation for a flight to the Bahamas that weekend. As I took a second look, I saw that it was a confirmation for two.

Who was Noah cheating on me with?

A thousand thoughts raced through my head. At that moment, I felt a little like the stuffed unicorn–left out on the curb, unwanted, waiting for the dumpster truck to take me to the landfill in Staten Island.

Was Noah seeing his ex-girlfriend again? I mean, she was pretty and conventional. She wasn't crazy Joey – Moschino-wearing, runway-strutting, attending the Met-Opera-In-Gucci-Kangaroo-Mules – Huo. I felt like my entire world was falling apart.

Come Christmas Day, all I would have to hold me close by the fireplace was my oversized, snickering unicorn.

Noah came back, out of the bathroom, looking handsomer than ever. He was dark-skinned and ripped. He could rock an Old Navy T-shirt like a Calvin Klein underwear model. His cheekbones were high, his eyes small and slanted. Don't even get me started on those thick, pouty lips. I loved everything about him.

Before I could say anything, our guests started to arrive. The first person to show up was River Leung, a friend I'd met a couple of months ago at my dad's country club. He was new money; the Chinese called people like him Fuerdai. He had a name like River because with enough millions in the bank you can call yourself anything you like.

He and Noah weren't exactly best friends. Noah was as blue-collar as they come. That's why I loved my boy Noah! He had rips in his denim that weren't made by Zara machines. As Noah's jock friends started to arrive with their girlfriends, the sporty guys went off to chat together. I swore I saw the quarterback of the football team chuckle and point at my unicorn. I wonder, as he leaned in and whispered into Noah's ear, if the two of them were chuckling about me too.

I took River to the kitchen and gave him a Coke. At least I had one friend among all these jocks. I opened up a can of Diet Coke and nearly drank the whole thing.

"I think Noah is cheating on me," I told River, who raised his eyebrows like he couldn't believe it.

"On you?" River asked in a high-pitched, shocked voice. "But you're like the king of that school."

"More like the school jester," I said in a dejected voice. "After everything we've been through together, he's probably going to go back to his ex-girlfriend or something."

"No," River moaned. "Well, maybe then you'll have more time to play World of Warcraft with me."

River could afford to travel the world in a private jet or build a second Akihabara for the kids in Africa. But he spent all his time playing Warcraft. If I had his money, I would try to uncover the cure to cancer or at least male-patterned balding.

"I saw a message on his cell phone. He's booking a trip to the Bahamas this weekend. He's doing it because he knows my parents are taking me skiing in Aspen this weekend. Speaking of which, I hate hanging out with my parents so much. Aspen is such a has-been place. My dad can't stop going there. He thinks that's what classy people do. Surgeons are so dumb."

"Better than my dad," River said with a roll of his eyes. "He thinks the Louis Vuitton monogram is classy."

I nearly snorted out my Diet Coke at that.

"How does your mom deal with him?"

"My mom told him the Hermes H stands for Tommy Hilfiger."

"Smart," I said. My eyes drifted back to Noah again. I saw one of the skanky girlfriends wrap her talon-like stuck-on nails around his muscular waist. It was making me sick. Really? Was he cheating on me with her? Who wants to date a chick with a bunch of Hello-Kittys stuck on her middle-finger?

I excused myself from River and walked over to Noah and his sporty friends. I pretended to have approached them to hand out some cocktails. After the jocks politely complimented my ability to mix a drink without alcohol, I took Noah aside.

"I know about the trip," I told him. "Which one of these hoes are you taking with you?"

"Joey!" Noah said in an embarrassed voice. He took out his phone and showed me the Expedia receipt. "The skanky hoe I'm taking, is the one standing next to me!"

"What?" I asked. "No, I'm supposed to be going to Ass-pen with my parents."

"Well, your dad said you didn't have to go. He told me not to tell you that you're going to the Bahamas until the last second because he didn't want you to have the satisfaction of getting your way."

"Oh," I said as I saw my name on the flight check-in on Noah's phone. Suddenly, I felt my cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to snoop on your phone. It was beeping, and you know how much I hate disruptive ambient noises!"

Before I could finish, Noah Leigh kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me and went in for a big, juicy, Hollywood-perfect kiss. And I swooned! Right in front of the boys on the football team and their stylistically-challenged girl-toys. We were as perfect and glittery as a Christmas store display at Henri Bendel's.

And just like that, I thought I saw the unicorn smile at me. We were both unique, one-of-a-kind creations, who needed to find our forever-home in our very own Manhattan. 

Althea lives in New York City and loves to travel and shop. She once attended Cornell University and earned a degree in Medieval English. She is trying very hard to make some use of it. Read more from Althea here .