18 rain

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Thunder booms waking me up instantly. I flinch and sit up to see its pouring down rain. Movement catches my eye, Oliver is sitting in a chair a few feet away from me reading the book I was.

"Hey love, do you want to go inside?" He says and I look at the blanket on me.  Oliver put a blanket on me since I fell asleep... that's so thoughtful. My cheeks go pink and a try to hide my smile.

"Sure," I say about to get up but he gets up and picks me up.

"Wrap your legs around me," he says and I do as he says. He carries me inside and a dog runs up to us.

"I love it! Put me down!" I says struggling now to be set down. He laughs and puts me down and I pick up the dog.

"Aweee! You're so ugly!" I say in a baby voice and it trys to lick my face.

"Oscar is not ugly," Oliver says pretending to be offended because he know I'm just kidding. We play with oscar and I snack on a pop tart for a while until my phone starts ringing.

I look at it and see its Mike. I answer it and leave Oliver on the couch as I go to my room and shut the door. "What's up Mikey?" I say and hear a door shut on his end.

"Hey I was just checking up on you, how are you?" He probably expects me to be rude and annoying at him for asking. Instead I'm going to force myself to open up a little- actually a lot.

"I'm okay right now, I'm actually happy.. but I'm going to be nicer from now on. You guys don't deserve someone bitching at you just because they are hiding how fucked up they are," I say and he doesn't say anything for a moment.

"What did you do, fall in love? Why are you saying this?" He says and I laugh. Me, in love?

Never..

Oli will get tired of me soon enough and once we are over I'll see what my next step it. Theres still a chance I'm not gay, I'm just trying it..

That sounds like I'm using Oliver, I'm not. I do like him and I'm attracted to him. I just don't know how much. "Nah, I'm off of my medicine and feel a bit better and I'm going to see if they can prescribe something else or something because I don't think the three mixed well," I say and I'm sure I'm surprising him even more.

"Oh, dame. Are you going to be okay without them?" He asks.

"Oliver's here, he's going to make sure I don't do anything stupid," I say and he hums.

"Since you're being all open.. what do you have?" He asks and I know he's just curious and maybe a like concerned.

"I'm bipolar and I also have depression and anxiety.. but yeah I've be scared to be seen as broken so I started to hide behind a rude attitude. Can you not tell anyone? Not even vic. He'll worry about me too much," I say and I know he's nodding.

"Yeah.. but tell him about at least the anxiety. He needs to know something. He really cares about you," he says and I sigh.

"Yeah, too much. But uh.. yeah so now you know more about me. Don't just drop me when you see I'm a handful.." I sad sadly.

"I'd never, your my man. How about we celebrate tomorrow and have a party at my house. You can bring Oli and I'll get every body to meet up here at 8pm," he says.

"Okay I'll be there," I say and we say are bye's and hang up.

Me: you said we can cuddle whenever we want? 

I text and instantly get a reply.

Oli: yeah

Me: the come here

As soon as I send it my door opens and he smirks and looks at his phone. "I started walking as soon as I saw the word cuddle," he says and I get on my bed more and we cuddle up together.

If this is considered gay then I might actually be okay with being gay... after a while of cuddling I'm starting to wonder some stuff.

"O-oli?" I accidentally stutter. He looks at me and I blush. "What would you do if I started to cry while doing something sexual?" I mumble.

"What do you mean?" He says sounding unsure.

"Like I had a panic attack last time I was going to do something sexual with a person and started crying.." I warn him.

"I'll calm you down and then do whatever you want. Movie, cuddle, I don't know but if it happens I'll try to reverse it as quickly as possible," he says and I feel a little better.

"Do you want to try anything sexual?" He asks and I blush.

"Not yet," I say and I peck his cheek and cuddle up with him more.

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