Loser

Chapter 1

Eddie's bare feet hit the carpet, nearly silently. He quickly sheds his clothes and changes into pajamas, throwing his discarded laundry in the bin in his closet. He puts deodorant on. His nightly routine is almost complete, no issues faced. The only problem...he stubs his toe on his bookshelf.

"Fuck! Shit. Ow. What the fuck?" He forgot that he had to have his friend move it out earlier. He hears his mom slowly pull herself out of her chair and walk toward the stairs. Oh fuck. I'm dead.

"Honey, are you ok? I heard swears. You don't have any of your...friends over, right?"

"Uh...no, Mommy. They're not over. I just hit my foot on my bookshelf...trying to grab my inhaler. I'm sorry for swearing. It won't happen again. I promise."

"It better not. If it does, you'll be grounded. No more hanging out. I don't want my sweet little baby tarnished like that." Eddie rolls his eyes. "Honey? Please answer me."

"Ok, Mommy. It won't happen again."

"Good girl. Have you taken your medications?" Eddie sighs.

"Yes, Mommy."

"Good job. Now, get some sleep."

"Yes, Mommy." She stomps down the stairs, and Eddie grabs a pack of gum from his dresser, unwrapping a piece and putting in his mouth. He's gotta get the tobacco off his breath somehow. His friends all go out and smoke weed, but Eddie doesn't like the headspace it puts him in. He becomes kind of an asshole, and his friends aren't much better. Bitch them out, they'll come right back with twice the power and three times the physical force. He's started just snagging cigarettes and hanging out. Everyone offers him whatever they're smoking from multiple times throughout the night, no matter how many times he declines. Sometimes, they're too fucked up to even remember that they already offered.

Eddie skips on taking all of his meds. It's not for the same reason that he doesn't like smoking pot. The prescriptions make his brain fuzzy and block his emotions. He climbs into bed and pulls the blankets over him. His head falls back onto his pillow. He sighs and closes his eyes. He can't seem is to pinpoint how his life ended up like this. Every night, he does the exact same thing, resulting in him questioning all of his life choices. His main question, that he always falls asleep without figuring out the damn answer to, is "why them?" Why did he choose to hang out with the Bowers Gang?

Henry Bowers bullied him all of middle school, which seemed really fucking unfair, seeing that Henry is three years older than Eddie. Henry and company don't know about Eddie, but they really don't care. They just needed someone to smoke the packs that Patrick takes from his parents. All he can get is Camels, but Henry, Vic, Patrick and Belch only smoke Marlboros. But Eddie prefers Camels. He has to go out every night so he can smoke the whole pack before Hockstetter has to throw them out, which is about every 4 days. Eddie can't exactly bring the packs home, so he just leaves. It's really not that big of a deal. It's halfway through his sophomore year, making Henry and them seniors. Henry is the oldest of the group. Technically, he's supposed to be done with high school, but he got held back last year. Eddie's gonna have to find another hookup by the end of the year. He has his eye on two kids in particular. They're always smoking behind the grocery store by the school. He kind of knew them in elementary school. They weren't exactly friends, Eddie was just one of the people watchers. He knew a little about everyone, even when they don't know him. His semi-transition definitely helps people not remember who he is.

Henry always tries to pick on them, even though Eddie's asked him not to multiple times. He's explained that he needs them to not know his face, other than from classes they share.