The Healing Sunshine (一厘米的阳光)

Chapter 5.1 - You are by My Side (1)

In that instant, all she felt was that he was real, that he could be a refuge for her.

Her fear of the dark was swept away, and the only thing that remained was his unique, faint scent that exuded from him, mixed with the aroma of cigarette smoke.

She sensed him crouching down.

Jì Chengyang enclosed her briefly in his arms, then let go again, saying in a low voice, "I'm sorry, Xixi. I went out for a smoke."

"It's okay..." Those eyes of his were gazing fixedly at her. Jǐ Yi suddenly felt that that was even more frightening than the darkness, and at once she lowered her head. Retreating two steps, she summoned her courage and walked back into the house. The entire time, she did not dare turn around to look at him.

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It was only later that Grandaunt, feeling terrible after learning that Jǐ Yi had received a fright, told her that she had watched Jì Chengyang step out the front door, and wanting to conserve energy, she had turned off the light over the raised concrete step. As Grandaunt said this, she even stroked Jǐ Yi's hair. "Fourteen years old already. You're a big girl now. How can you still be afraid of the dark?"

Jǐ Yi felt especially abashed. Removing her shoes, she slipped onto the bed to sleep with Grandaunt.

The driver and those two soldiers who had accompanied them in their vehicle had all been arranged to sleep in neighbours' homes, and only Jì Chengyang and Jǐ Yi were staying here in Grandaunt's house. The three were all sleeping in the one bedroom. Jǐ Yi and Grandaunt slept on the bed, while Jì Chengyang, with a quilt covering him, slept on the old wooden bench.

He was near the charcoal stove. When she awoke dazedly in the middle of the night, she saw Grandaunt turn on the lamp and pull up the corner of his quilt for him.

Jǐ Yi sat up, staring puzzledly at Grandaunt.

Smiling, Grandaunt explained softly, "I was afraid the quilt might catch fire."

She gave a slight nod.

Grandaunt took Jì Chengyang's down jacket away with her and then also brought out a sewing box.

"He was working. It snagged and ripped." Knowing that Jǐ Yi did not really understand her dialect, Grandaunt tried as much as possible to keep her words simple. Jǐ Yi examined his down jacket. Indeed, there was a tear beneath the left pocket. Fortunately there was still another layer inside the jacket, but with such a rip in it, it truly was unsightly.

Facing the lamp, Grandaunt tried many times to thread the needle, but each time it was taxing to her.

"I'll help you, Grandaunt," Jǐ Yi quietly offered.

"Good child." Grandaunt's eyes crinkled with a smile as she handed the silver needle and black thread to her.

In the end, she even began to teach Jǐ Yi how to mend a rip.

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And so, when Jì Chengyang awoke in the middle of that night, he opened his eyes to discover that the lamp was on. Covering his eyes with his right arm, he allowed himself to adjust to the light, and then he turned his gaze onto the two people on the bed. He had originally intended to ask Jǐ Yi whether she needed to go to the bathroom again, but what he saw was the little lady holding his down jacket and carefully, solemnly mending it...

Many years later, amid the deafening roar of artillery, as he lay on soil mixed with blood and faced the beckoning of death, what he saw were not angels or demons, but rather, it was this winter night in the year 2000: how, deep in this winter, in a little mountain town, in this room where one could draw warmth only from a small charcoal stove, Jǐ Yi, under the dim, yellow glow of the lamplight, had one stitch at a time mended his garment.