𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉 | 𝖕.𝖏𝖍 + 𝖐.𝖞𝖍

九

younghyun's pov

it had been almost 17 hours since jae left the group with no trace of his whereabouts. i don't know about whether the rest of the group even cared, but i was worked up and worried about jae. i realized that i was still in a relationship with sohyun, my long time childhood friend, but at this point i knew who i really wanted. it had been jae all along. hence, this became a turning point for me. i knew he had to say goodbye to my old ways, and accept my feelings. initially, i was afraid to even acknowledge my feelings, as i always thought that i was straight. that kiss outside the diner with jae? it was just my ego. those flirty moments with jae? that was just a fake build up of who i was. behind that facade was just a indecisive boy called younghyun. i just wanted to play around with jae, but i now realized my feelings towards him. was i too late?

i just hope it wasn't too late for me to change.

-

i had no idea where i should start to change myself so i went to look for sungjin. even though we have a group of friends that we trust but i trusted him the most. he had seen me at my best, and my worst. surely, he could give me some advice.

well... that's what i thought. after i told him my situation, he began to put me down for being indecisive and cheating on my girlfriend. i got quite hurt because instead of helping me he was reprimanding me for my past mistakes. so i started to tear up a little, because i knew i did wrong but i was willing to change. seeing me tear up, sungjin realized he was a little harsh on me so his face softened and he gave me a hug.

"don't worry younghyun, you'll figure out your feelings. it'll take time, but you'll be okay."

"sungjin hyung, its not as easy as you think it is..."

"i didn't say it was. i said that its okay for you to take your time. it's fine to be slow."

"I JUST DON'T WANT TO HURT HER IF I TELL HER THAT I DON'T LOVE HER ANYMORE!" i yelled, shocked that i even yelled.

i quickly muttered a soft sorry and burst out of the room, with more tears flowing down my face. i ran back home.

that day, i didn't attend any classes. i simply cried and slept through the whole day.