The Black Widow

Different (NatashaXJames)

*Set After Endgame. Where everything is different :))))) *

An- I'll work out some theory I'm happy with that brings Nat back. One day...until then, perhaps a more realistic life between these two?

~~~

James Barnes was what Natasha could only describe as an idiot when he was being himself. Full on goof ball and the furthest thing from the Winter Soldier she had once known by a long shot. She'd listen to him and Sam bicker over trivial things, hiding her smirk as she carried on with her work, or watched him surprise himself with a task he didn't remember he was good at. Just the other day she caught him grinning to himself as he helped Peter answer a Chemical equation as part of his science homework before Bruce had even had the chance to give it a thought. James had answered in a nanosecond, and Bruce hadn't been pleased.

James was too cocky or shocked at his own mind to notice, and she liked that. The little things, the good things he had learned along with all the bad made her feel a new fondness towards him. She had realised that she felt that a lot about him not that she'd admit it, along with that she enjoyed watching him often now, curiosity and awe dragging her in to analyse him. He fascinated her this way,  from his smug little smirks or flippant teasing that it was his way of showing he was comfortable around the team now. Confident in himself a little more, and she suspected he owed a lot of that to their allies in Wakanda. In turn, she was thankful to them too for breaking him out of the toxic trance he'd been placed under. She'd been there, she'd felt that trapped. She understood.

Natasha Romanoff, to James, was beyond anything he could imagine. Witty, courageous, sexy and slowly proving to be one of the people he was most comfortable around, which he thought was expected. She stirred every part of his mind, back into the dark depths of scattered memories from his time in Russia and back further to him before all that. Before the war when he had a never ending love for beautiful women with flowing red hair and that would bat their eyelashes at him and he'd give them the world if he could.

From what he could remember of her before, which proved to be more and more each day, everything about her now was amplified. Those small hints of a personality behind her stoic professionalism and training all those years ago had blossomed, creating her into the most unique character he'd ever encountered, and easily one of his favourites.

He still held a flame for her, not in a romantic sense, but with a boyish desire. He was aware that she would watch him, not in the concerned way Steve would, but almost cat like and curious. He liked that. He'd have done anything to get a girls attention back before the war, and he was proving to himself that he was still himself. Still James Barnes. Turns out maybe all of his past, in Russia, or god knows were else with the cruelest people of the world, wasn't all terrible. Not if someone, all be it with some shared life experience, could relate. And Natasha could related to him in more ways that they'd care to admit.

Neither of them had mentioned their past to one another, not in so many words anyway. Occasionally they'd hear a familiar name or a place from their time in a board meeting, their eyes meeting in a flickering glance for a moment. A check for recognition or confirmation, and then they'd act like it never happened. Sometimes she'd pass a teasing comment to Sam or Steve, deliberately wording it carefully for his recognition. A test to see if he'd find the hidden meaning behind it, challenging him to bring up the inside joke and advance it further. He'd merely smirk, and return the favour some other time.

Natasha was sure he hadn't mentioned her to anyone, Steve would have definitely brought it up as some good guy act to play therapist between them, Sam would dig himself an early grave with his inability to quit teasing them. The only person that really suspected something, would be Clint, who James saw narrow his eyes in confusion at Natasha when he thought James wasn't looking after they'd exchanged some teasing words in Russian. Clint and Natasha communicated with looks, years of partnership and trust building up so all she had to do was shrug, and wink and he dropped it without question.